Friday, April 23, 2010

Lizzie and Wesley - Chapter 20

Chapter 20: Sierra's Story

Wesley carried the woman carefully into the house and laid her on the the sofa. The boy followed silently behind us. He didn't say anything or show any emotion at all. After the woman was settled on the sofa, I turned to the boy. Sarah and Rachel were standing a bit behind him, watching him curiously. "Why don't you two take our guest upstairs while his mother rests." I said, making the assumption that the boy and mysterious woman were related. Sarah and Rachel each nodded and Rachel reach out for his hand. He allowed himself to be led up to their small room.

"Lizzie, one of us should ride into town and fetch the doc." Wesley said quietly while eying the unconscious woman warily.

"Then go on." I said. "We'll be fine here." I knew that Wesley had no desire to leave his family alone with these strangers; he didn't move from where he was standing. "Perhaps we can wait until morning then." I said. "She seems to be fine - just exhausted. Maybe hungry."

"That I am." A weak voice from the sofa replied. Wesley and I hurried to her side and helped her sit up a bit straighter. After a moment her face became frantic. "Luke? Luke!" she jumped to her feet and swayed. Had Wesley not stood with her, she would have fell to the floor. "LUKE!" she cried out, clearly panicked.

"Shhh..." I said putting a hand on her arm. "He's fine, he's upstairs with our girls." After a moment, the words sunk in and she calmed down somewhat. Her eyes were still a little wide and I was sure she was on the verge of panic. "Why don't you clean up a bit while I get you and Luke something to eat." I offered. I looked toward Wesley and nodded to the door, hoping he'd understand my meaning. He did but looked wary as he walked outside to go fetch some water. He returned with a bucket of water and I retrieved a couple of towels for her. I showed her to our room so she could clean up privately and pulled out a clean nightgown for her to wear.



I returned to the kitchen and found Wesley cutting up some fruit for them. I smiled at him and joined him at the counter, pulling out a bit of meat and bread to add to the plate. I warmed some water on the fire and made some tea as well. By the time she was cleaned up, we had called Luke down and he was quietly but quickly devouring his food as if he hadn't eaten in days. Wesley and I sat as well. "My name is Sierra, and this is Luke." she said as she sat down. She looked at the spread of food with wide eyes and I wondered when they'd last eaten.

"I'm Elizabeth, and this is my husband Wesley." I said. I wanted to ask her questions but she was so busy eating that I didn't think she'd be able to reply if I did so I held my tongue. Once Luke finished, Sierra shooed him upstairs with the girls. It was getting late and they ought to be going to bed soon enough.

"Thank you. For your kindness...it is..." Sierra paused a moment to think, "Unexpected." she said finally. "My boy and I will go on now that we had a bit of food."

"Oh no you won't" Wesley chimed in firmly. "You can stay here the night and rest up." he said leaving little room for her to argue. It was clear, even cleaned up, that she was exhausted and wouldn't make it far. A storm was brewing outside anyway and neither of us would want them to be out in that weather.

"Thank you." she said finally after considering what else to say. Although Sarah and Rachel offered to share a bed so Luke could have the extra, Sierra insisted on his sleeping near her - having him as far away as upstairs seem to terrify her so we didn't push, only found extra blankets for him to sleep on. Luke didn't seem to care. In fact, he hadn't shown any emotion all night.



I tucked my own children in after our guests were settled in and crawled under the warm covers with Wesley. He snuggled close to me and I felt such joy just having him there after all we had been through recently.

I woke up to the sound of the back door shutting. I peered through the curtains to see it was still full dark outside. I slipped quietly out from under Wesley's arm and lit a lamp and carried it to our bedroom door. Opening it a crack I peered into the main living area and saw Sierra still sleeping. On the floor was a bundle of blanket but no Luke. I glanced out the window and saw him standing on the back porch. I closed the doors silently behind me until I was just behind him. "Luke?" I whispered. He didn't respond. His eyes were open but they looked out on the back yard blankly. "Luke?" I said a little louder. "Come on, let us go back inside." he didn't respond. Without much warning he began to choke himself. I stared, wide eyed - trying to figure out what he was about and what I ought to do. "Luke!" I shouted hoping to get his attention.



I heard the door clunk behind me as I was about to try to pry his hands away from his neck. "No! Don't!" Sierra shouted. She put a hand on my shoulder to stop me from touching him. "Wait a moment."

Within a moment he stopped and the blank stare returned. I turned to her questioningly but she merely looked at her son sadly. She knelt beside him and was whispering softly to him. I couldn't hear her clearly but I think she was singing to him. Soon he smiled, the only smile I'd seen cross his face, and started swaying his arms. She stood and left him to his swaying as she turned to me but I could only watch him in wonder.



"He's...not well." Sierra said frowning. I could tell how much she was hurting and wanted to reach out for her and hug her but something about her demeanor suggested that such a move wouldn't be received with pleasure from her.

Eventually, Luke grew tired again and started to waver. Sierra caught him before he fell and took him back to his little pallet on the floor. They laid back down and were quickly asleep. I tried to return to sleep myself but had no luck. I got out of bed again before dawn and retrieved Sierra's dirty clothes. Before anyone else awoke, I'd washed them and hung them on the line along with some of our own. I laid out some of my own things for Sierra to wear and then wondered what to do about Luke's clothes. Finally I found some of Alan's old things, left behind from before she'd married John. I hoped they would fit him well enough that we could wash what he was wearing.

"Thank you." Sierra said as I placed the bundle of clothes on the chair. I'd thought she was still sleeping. "You are uncommonly kind."

"I hope not, I always thought the people around here were very kind." I said. On thinking about it though, I realized I barely knew this town anymore. Only a handful of our old friends had stayed through the drought and the epidemic and since the rains had some, new people had come into town - some to stay, some passing through.

"Perhaps, I've not been in to the town much at all." Sierra said absently stroking Luke's hair as he continued to sleep. "My husband's name is...was...Caulder." she said, a mix of sadness and fear filling her face.

Caulder...Caulder....as in Crazy Caulder? I tried to remember what I'd heard from Tessa and around town about him. All gossip really but he seemed mostly harmless, just a little off. "I think I met your husband once or twice." I said slowly recalling the man. "Did something happen?" I asked

She nodded. Although sad and anxious, the stroking of her son's hair seemed to calm her. "The sickness came to us. He was very ill. He passed three nights....maybe four...ago. Luke and I were trying to get to town but I couldn't remember the way and the storm...." she trailed off, shaking slightly as she recalled it. "We'd been out there since then, until we found you."

"Oh my." I said startled. They'd been wandering around for days in the rain. "When Wesley wakes, we can take you into town if you like."

"Thank you. I need to see the reverend, to..." she trailed off and choked as tears began to fall.

"Of course." I said simply. After the rest of the house woke up and were made ready, we all went in the wagon to go into town. We tried the church first but Reverend Williams was not there. Across the way, we saw half the town seemed to be gathering and looking riled. We made our way over and heard shouts about rustlers and thieves and the need for a sheriff and justice. The angry radiated through the crowd like a heat wave.

I heard frantic whispers before I saw their reaction; several of those assembled had turned their anger and suspicions on Sierra although I couldn't fathom why. Sierra, for her part, watch them coolly - with her own mistrust.



The crowd - now a mob in the making - was circling around us, trapping us and effectively pinning us against a tree. "Back off!" Wesley shouted and a few people backed away from us only to close in on Sierra cutting us off from her.

"What's this about? Leave her alone!" I shouted, trying to push my way back to her while clutching baby Alexander. Wesley had Hannah in his arms and was trying to pull the children out of the crowd just in case.

"That's her, I swear I saw a woman just like that the night my coop was broken into!" Virgil Flynn shouted although I clearly remember him having said he'd seen nothing that night.

I heard other muttered things but no one else said anything worth repeating. "You said yourself you saw nothing Mr. Flynn!" I replied finally getting through the thick of it so I was beside Sierra. He sputtered several moments but gave no retort. Nevertheless the crowd continued to glare at Sierra with distrust.

"I heard one of them was about cursin' the crops - maybe she caused the drought." someone said, spitting at the ground. I looked around for the source but realized I only recognized a handful of the crowd and most them were hanging back silent.

"This is Sierra Caulder, her husband died of the sickness like the rest of us. You leave her be!" I looked over toward Wesley to see that he had the girls and Luke out of harms' way. Luke had retained his blank expression throughout the scene.

"Don't mean she ain't done nothin' wrong!" someone shouted which was met with a round of murmured replied and many nods of agreement. "If she is a Caulder, bet she's crazy! I hear tell of them!" I wondered what this brewing mob would do if they decided Sierra had done something and was afraid for us all. I held Alexander closer, wishing I could give him to Wesley to protect with the others.

"Mrs. Caulder!" someone shouted. The crowd reluctantly made way for Reverend Williams. "Oh Mrs. Caulder - I just went by your place to check on y'all." he said taking her hands in his. "I'm so sorry." he said sadly, having seen Lance.



They shared a quiet moment in prayer I imagined and then Reverend Williams realized he was now surrounded by the crowd as well. "Off with you all. Now! You have families and homes to tend to I imagine." he said. Face to face with a man of God, the crowd lost its nerve and slowly dispersed. Sierra sought out Luke and the two of them walked with Reverend Williams to discuss arrangements I imagine. I hugged Wesley and held him tightly - just now realizing how afraid I'd been.

Wesley and I insisted on Sierra and Luke coming home with us for a few more days - at least until the service. Sierra and I were quickly becoming friends and I hoped that Luke would make friends with children his own age. Sierra tried to argue but she also looked terribly anxious about going home to a house without her husband so she was easily swayed.

It was twilight when we all got back to the homestead and I was able to bring in the laundry I'd hung that morning. "I want to thank you, again." Sierra said. "I feel like that's all I've done since I stumbled into your yard." she said with a weak laugh.



"You have nothing you need to thank us for Sierra. We're only happy we can help you in this time." I said tugging a shirt from the line.

"Few others would take in a complete stranger and her son - with no questions." Sierra argued, though she was smiling. Together we carried the laundry into the house and started folding it.

"Well we're happy to have you both. I'm only sorry you had to go through so much to get here." I said. A few days somehow turned into a few weeks. When Sierra and Wesley had returned to her homestead, they'd found a lot of damage from the storms and possibly a few bandits had been by.

In all the chaos, we had clean forgotten baby Alexander's birthday but it made no difference. Cake or not, the boy was growing up before our eyes. He taught himself to walk in order to follow Wesley around the house and soon every time I looked around, he was missing. After a few panicked occasions, I realized where to find him. With his daddy.



Completely barefoot, he would take the first chance he could to slip out the door and make his way into the field to find Wesley. Nothing could make Wesley stop working like little Alexander either. Those two were made for each other.

Wesley adored all his children of course but I think Alexander was a special favorite of his. When Alexander would finally find Wesley, he would lift his arms in the sky to be scooped up and Wesley would drop whatever he was doing and toss the little tyke into the air. Alexander would giggle and squirm and laugh while shouting for more.



Luke - though never passionate about anything - did seem to warm up to our family. Instead of simply sitting with the girls and watching them play, he started playing with them. He was soon as hooked on Sarah's story telling as the rest of us and she would spend hours telling him of Anabelle, a character she'd created, and the adventures she got into. They would run off together playing and not be seen until dinner time.



After more than a month, Wesley had finished the repairs on the Caulder homestead and secured it from bandits. He'd also taken the time to teach her how to shoot a gun, just in case. I prayed she'd never have to use it way out there. She was a long way from town and I was scared for her. But she'd become more confident in the intervening weeks and going home no longer seemed to scare her - even without her husband. Luke had also been growing into a fine young man. He was almost a teenager when we helped them return home and had taken Wesley's advice to be "man of the house" to heart. He seemed too young to me to be the man of the house but my mother's instinct would want them all to be babies forever. As such, I kissed him on the forehead and held him tightly that day. "You be good to your ma, you hear?" I said with a smile.

"Yes ma'am." he said. He was a boy of few words, but they were always the truth.

"You think they'll be okay?" I asked Wesley as we rode back home.

"I'm sure they will. That boy is a better shot than I am, and his ma isn't far behind." Wesley said putting a comforting hand on my shoulder and squeezing.

The house felt a little empty with our house guests gone even though we had an active little Alexander, a feisty Hannah who was almost ready to start school and two emotional almost teenagers of our own. In fact, I realized that Sarah and Rachel's birthdays were fast approaching and I promised I wouldn't forget another birthday for my children. I planned a large party at the Cafe with Tessa's help and invited just about everyone we knew and some we hadn't really gotten a chance to meet.

The girls were very excited about their parties and helped each other plan what they would wear. With the rains back, our crops began to thrive again. Wesley and I gave them each money to buy new dresses or material if they liked.

The evening of the party almost everything that could go wrong, did. But we took it all in stride and laughed it off. Needless to say, there was a lot of laughter that evening. Especially as Sarah blew out her candles and ended up blowing cake and icing all over her sister Hannah's face. Okay so Hannah didn't find that part so funny and ran inside the Cafe in tears to clean up before Rachel had blown out her candles.



Luke and Sierra came to the party as well and I saw that Luke had grown as well since they'd left us. He was quite a strapping young man. Although he still had a look in his eyes that disturbed me. I wondered if he still had the night time walks.

He watched Sarah intently though and I was amused to see her watching him. They were both still so young but I suspected there was a bit of a young crush there.



My girls had grown into beautiful young women - okay I hate to call them that. They are far too young and will always be my babies. But I can't deny how much they'd grown. Sarah was still an avid reader and story maker. Sarah always gave her first drafts to Rachel first (and then Luke). But eventually we all got to read her creations and would often spend the evening each reading a different story of hers.



As I looked at Rachel and Sarah, I thought back on my own early teenage life and wondered what theirs would hold for them. I'd known my one love all my life but that wasn't the case for them.

End Chapter

School Days: Sophomore Year



Thank you to all my readers and my home over at SiManiacs. The Sophomore year is over but I hope you all know I'll be back with more. :)

You can find the complete Freshman and Sophomore years here or a SiManiacs so enjoy them in good health. :)
Sophomore Year
(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (14) (15) (16) (17) (18) (19) (20)

School Days: Sophomore Year

Chapter 20: End of Year Carnival

"So you gonna come visit Gavin during your grand tour of the East coast?" Erik asked. He grinned because he knew he'd be spending the summer with his mom and by visiting Gavin, I'd be visiting him as well.

"I think my dad and I can squeeze in into the schedule." I said with a smile.

"Is your dad taking two months off for this?" Erik leaned back against the picnic table. We should be inside eating lunch but Veronica had disappeared again and Todd was still suspended and Timothy was a no show. Given that it was a beautiful May day, we'd decided to take our lunches outside.

"No, he'll be working while we're there, telecommuting mostly. He actually has a few business meetings set up as well since he'll be in the "area"" I said. "He's got a pretty flexible schedule though so we can see the sights together and move along when we're ready."

"You have a pretty cool dad Gin. Mine would never do anything like that. Not that mine would have a job he could telecommute to." Erik looked sad as he thought about his dad. Before I could figure out how to reply, Timothy approached us.

"I need your help." he said as a greeting. "The Student Council is assisting with this carnival in a couple weeks and we're painting signs this afternoon - except for 'we' seems to be me. Can you two help?"



"You're on Student Council?" I asked combing my mind for any time he might have mentioned being on Student Council. "Since when?"

"Two years, thanks for noticing." he snapped. "Never mind." he started to walk away and then paused and turned back toward us. "That was snappish wasn't it?"

I grimaced. "A bit. But perhaps deserved - I had no idea you were on Student Council; how pathetic am I as a friend?" I said with a small smile.

"Eh it's not all on you, I don't think I mentioned it much - if at all." Timothy said. "So, after school....can you both help? Please?"

"I'm in" Erik said from behind me and I nodded as well. We all smiled at each other and Timothy walked away calling his thanks.

I turned to Erik. "Did you know? That he was in Student Council?"

"Yes, I voted for him this year - he's a sophomore class rep." Erik said shrugging.

"Wow, I don't even remember the elections." I said frowning. "And he was obviously on the Council last year. I am so grounded as his friend." Erik just laughed as we walked back toward the school to get to class.

That afternoon, we met in the cafeteria and worked together to move the tables and chairs out of the way. We laid out large banner size paper and raided the art room for supplies. Before any pain got on the banner, I got a spot on my shirt. I was examining the tube to see if the paint was washable and I guess the lid wasn't on very well because green paint squirted out...speckling Erik with green dots. "Oops...." I said trying not to laugh.

Erik looked down at his shirt and over at me then back at his shirt. "Green really isn't my color." he said. He used his finger to scoop one of the green pain globs from his shirt and then grinned as he wiped his fingers on my shoulder. "But it looks great on you." he said with a laugh.

"Oh no you didn't!" I said shocked. I grabbed another tube of paint and looked at it. "How about blue then?" I said. Before he could reply or dart away I splattered him with blue paint to join the green.



Erik and I both burst out laughing as we stared at his shirt and soon a small paint war was on. From somewhere outside the battlefield, I heard someone talking and eventually turned to see Timothy watching us with a bemused look on his face. "As amusing as this looks...." he pulled a camera out from behind his back and took a few pictures that I had no doubt would end up in the yearbook or something, "the paint should be on the paper."

Erik and I giggled and then looked at each other - now with almost every color in the rainbow splattered across our clothes and faces - and laughed again. "Banner...." I said finally. Erik slowly stopped laughing and nodded. As we worked, we would occasionally glance at each other and smirk or chuckle.

"This is what you do when I'm not around?" Todd said, surprising us both. He was standing next to our banner, looking down at us and clearly amused.

"Join us. Gin was just telling me about how red and blue make purple." Erik said pointing to a particularly large purple spot on my shirt. Todd laughed as he sat down.



"You broke out of prison to come to school?" I ventured a guess.

"Well who would look for me here?" Todd said with a chuckle. "No, I came - with permission from the warden mind you - to see about getting some of my make up work. I'm not officially off my suspension until Monday...and as for the grounding - it's still life without parole I think."

"Maybe you'll get off on good behavior." I suggested with a smile.

"One can only hope. Most of my teachers offered me extra credit if I helped with this carnival and with Principal Watt's approval - here I am to start helping." Todd said picking up a paint brush. Timothy swooped in and started directing his new assistant once he heard this; Todd was put to work on another banner.

The four of us worked for a couple hours. In the end we had made banners that at least could be read - I'm not sure they were exactly visually appealing but they were colorful anyway. Todd returned to school the following Monday and the last real week of school before finals flew by for the rest of us. Todd spent every waking moment doing make up work, extra credit or homework if he wasn't busy at school. He'd also signed up for several shifts at the carnival at the urging of his teachers. It wasn't how he wanted to attend the carnival but he seemed dedicated to passing all his classes despite having missed almost a month's worth of class time.

The carnival was the weekend before finals week and the first weekend I'd seen James in what seemed like forever. He'd finished second at the state tournament and had thus won a spot at Nationals but he'd promised to go to the carnival with me regardless. True to his word, he showed up to pick me up early on Saturday. "I feel like I haven't seen you in months my queen." he said smiling. He gave me a kiss and offered his arm. I took it gratefully and leaned into him.

Todd was one of the first people we saw when we got there. He looked tired and cranky as we approached his concession stand. "Good morning Todd." I said.



"I wouldn't call it good." he grumbled. We each ordered sodas and grabbed a couple candy bars. I tried to give Todd my most reassuring smile but he'd been there since 6AM helping set up so I don't think he noticed.

The farm we'd taken a field trip to had brought out some animals for the petting farm and several kids were crowded around the animals, reaching their hands through the fence posts for a touch. I saw a familiar black mare and wondered if it was the one I'd petted at the farm. There was also a dunking booth that lured students in for a chance to dunk a teacher. Coach Reed was the victim as we passed by. I didn't have a grudge with him but I couldn't help but root for the line of students paying for a chance to see him swim in the small tank. The school had even rented a small merry-go round that was clearly not for anyone over the age of ten. I can only assume it was meant to entertain the children who came with their older siblings and families.

Like all good carnivals and fairs, there were several games of chance with cheap, over priced and over sized prizes. And in spite of the fact that I didn't need a giant stuffed panda bear or tiger or whatever, I couldn't help but want them. It must be the air of the carnival - if I saw some of these toys at the store I wouldn't spare them a second glance.

We met up with Veronica and Timothy after about an hour at the fair, I looked around for Erik but didn't see him. Veronica was dressed in black and red, outside her normal range of colors and I looked to her questioningly but she ignored my look. "I've seen you eying that panda bear Ginny." James said with a grin. I laughed in reply, he was right - I was eying it. It was almost as tall as I was and I had no idea where I could put it even if I had one. "I'll play." he was saying to the lady behind the counter, drawing me out of the mental redecorating of my room I was doing to incorporate the large panda.

"Wait, no! I don't really need one." I said with a laugh.

James laughed. "Who does?" he said nodding to the game hostess as he put a dollar on the table. "But you want it right?" When I smiled sheepishly he knew the answer was yes.

"I'll play too." Erik chimed in, joining us. He put his own dollar on the table.



Timothy and Veronica looked between Erik and James and I saw them both suppressing grins. "Well then...let the race begin." I said with a chuckle. The hostess handed them each water guns which they needed to use in order to (hopefully) make their horse cross the "track".

It was a close race but in the end, James's horse pulled ahead but a nose. The hostess handed over the large panda bear, which James offered to carry for me. "Thanks. For my bear." I said with a laugh. We had lunch with the others but then everyone went off on their own. The giant bear was taken to James's car for the time being so he wouldn't be dragged around for the rest of the day.

As sunset approached, I knew a concert followed the carnival and found a hand out for it. "Oh my gosh!" I exclaimed, looking it over. Right there in red letters was Veronica's name as an act for the concert.

"What?" James asked startled. I thrust the flier at him and pointed, still trying to find words. Most of the acts were small, fairly local bands and groups - we didn't have some grand headliner coming but still! "Wow, well this is good right? I mean I heard her at the talent show and she was great."

"Yeah it's good. I'm just...in shock I guess. She didn't tell me. What is it with my friends not telling me stuff?!" I snatched the flier back from him and looked at it again. "Come on, let's go get seats now!" I said pulling him along with me. We were one of the first ones there and got great seats.



"This good then?" he said with a chuckle. I looked at my watch and realized the show didn't even start for another 45 minutes but I just laughed it off. "I'm going to miss that laugh. To be honest, I'm going to miss everything about you this summer Ginny." he said getting very serious and somber. My dad and I were leaving in a little over a week and then James would be off for his internship and the National tournament.

"I'm going to miss you too James." I said fighting the urge to cry. I'd stubbornly refused to think about this for the weeks we hadn't really been able to see each other. "Don't get too comfortable in D.C." I said with a weak laugh.

"I'll try not to." he said scooting his chair closer to mine and putting his arm around my shoulders. "And give me a call when you get close during your grand tour. I'm sure I can be spared to show you around the capital."

We both got silent then and just enjoyed being in each others' company. Without realizing it, the seat around us had filled up and the concert had started. Veronica was the third performance and was absolutely incredible. I beamed as the crowd applauded her and clapped so hard my hands ached.



"Okay ow." I said as I sat down after Veronica left the stage.

"A little too much clapping there?" James said taking my hands in his. I nodded and he slowly started rubbing my hands. It wasn't long before they stopped hurting but I didn't stop him from rubbing them. "Still hurt?" he asked when the next act was almost done.

"Mm?" I said looking at him. "Oh no, not for awhile, I was just enjoying myself." I said.

James grinned. "Well then I'm glad to be of service." he raised my hand to his mouth and lightly kissed one and then raised the other and kissed it as well.

We settled back to watch the rest of the concert. I may be biased - okay I WAS biased - but I thought Veronica was the best of all of them. My neck grew sore from being so close to the stage and I turned my head a few times to stretch out the kinks. If I hadn't I never would have seen them. I had no idea she was in town but from what I could tell, I knew why.



Val....

I frowned and tried to look back at the stage, trying to focus on the band or on James's hand that was resting on my shoulder but still I looked back.

Val....and Erik....

Ow, the sight of them together hit me right in the gut and I wanted to run over there and push her away from him. But why? I was with James, if I could move on so could he right? I closed my eyes and took a slow steadying breath. Secretly I hoped with all my heart that she would disappear when I opened my eyes. She didn't.

I turned toward James and smiled. "I'm going to go get....a drink. Want anything?" I offered. He offered to go get it but I shook my head. "No, no I need some air...well, less crowded air." I said with a chuckle since we were already outdoors. When he didn't ask for anything I walked quickly through the crowd of concert goers toward the concession stands.

Todd was working once again and still seemed irritable but he gave me a small smile as I approached. "Hey Ginny." he said.



"Todd....hi." I looked around feeling a little lost. I saw Val and Erik still and cringed away from the sight, I saw James watching the concert from our seats and even cringed away from him, feeling guilty for the thoughts I was having about Erik and Val.

"You okay Gin?" Todd asked examining me.

"Um..." I shook my head. "Not so much." I said simply. "Did I ever tell you about..." Todd held up his hand, cutting me off and pointed behind me. I turned and looked, there was Erik - without the tramp - wait, when did she become a tramp?! - Val. "Erik...um...I gotta go..." I said trying to walk past him.

"Can we talk?" he asked, putting his hand on my arm to stop me. Searching my mind for a reason to say no, I came up empty and simply nodded. Erik led me away from the crowd and away from the concession stands. When he finally stopped walking he turned toward me and looked like he was going to say something.

And then he didn't.

For several moments we just looked at each other; gazed into each others' eyes and I knew in that moment that all my "just friends" talk had been a lie for both of us.

"Gin....I came back..." Erik started to say and stopped.

"Why? Why did you come back anyway?" I said fighting the urge to look for Val. If he had her, why come back. I could feel tears welling up in my eyes as so many conflicting emotions collided. I liked James! I'd moved on! And yet here was Erik....and he was, well frankly he was Erik....and he was looking at me with those eyes that were full of adoration.



"For you Gin, even before I realized it, I came back not just because of you but FOR you." Erik said. "I love you...."

"But Val..." I saw him cringe when I mentioned her. "I saw her, and I know you two..."

"Are over. We have been; she's just...persistent." Erik interrupted.

"Right...." I said trying to process the thoughts running through my mind. Erik...James...Erik....Val...James...

As if thinking about him called him to my side, I felt James's hand on my back and I saw Erik's face grow sad. "Ginny?" he said softly, not taking his eyes from Erik. "Are you okay?" he asked.

I turned to look at him and blinked away the few remaining tears. I mustered up a smile and nodded. "Yeah." As I tried to think of something to explain my extended drink run; Val showed up and immediately took possession of Erik's arm. He looked startled but didn't say anything to her, just kept looking at me.

"Looks like the concert is about over, you ready to go home?" James asked.

I looked back at Erik and Val, gazing into Erik's eyes I could almost ignore Val's presence on his arm. Almost. "Yeah." I said not taking my eyes from Erik. "Let's go."



I turned away from them to walk with James but looked back and felt a pang for the hurt I saw in Erik's face. Part of me wanted to turn and run back to him and let him kiss me and hold me. But I couldn't do that... not tonight anyway. I forced myself to look away from them as James led me through the slowly dispersing throng of people.

The faces of the people around me blurred together as fresh tears stung my eyes. I tried to resist them, I didn't want to have to explain to James why I was crying. I discreetly turned and swiped away tears. As I did so I saw a familiar face in the crowd - a very familiar face. I let go of James's hand and tried to tell him I'd be right back but I don't know if he could hear my words over the noise. I broke through the crowd, all the while, hunting for her.



There! It WAS her!

I climbed onto a bench to track her over the heads of the departing people and saw her break through on the other side, near the concession stands. She'd seen him before he saw her. I ached to be by his side and warn him. Why was she here? She couldn't stay long could she? Would her visit do more harm then good?

"Ginny!" James exclaimed grabbing my hand. "What are you doing up there?" he asked looking up at me.

"I saw someone..." I said still watching Mei-Ling approached the concession stand Todd was working at. I didn't looked down to James, afraid to miss the moment he saw her.

Todd looked up from his registered just as she stopped in front of him. Neither said anything - not that I could have heard the words over the crowd anyway.



End Chapter, End Season

School Days: Sophomore Year

Chapter 19: The Farm

"Well?" I asked after my dad had remained silent for several moments. "Daddy?"

"I'm not sure, to be honest, kiddo. Do I wish you would have told me? Yes, of course." he finally replied and paused then. "But I think I understand why you didn't."

"You do?" I was both happy and surprised to hear that from him.

"Yes. Was it the best choice? I don't know. But you can't always wonder what if." he said with a smile. Despite his words I detected a bit of disappointment In his voice and demeanor. "Come on, it's game night and I plan to win this time." he said with a laugh.

"Oh you are on." I said with a smirk. Dad hadn't beat me at video games in months. We played for awhile only talking about the game and egging each other on. I assumed the Todd subject was dropped but I couldn't get the idea that he was disappointed in my decision out of my mind.

"I did what you're doing for a long time after your mom died." he said with no preamble.



"What?" I asked taking my eyes from the TV to look at him.

"Wondered if I'd done things differently would things have been different. If I worked less, if I was home that night, if I'd spent more time with you two back then..." he trailed off, looking away from me. "I worked a lot back then, too much even. Your mom was always trying to get me to work less but I was ambitious and wanted too much too fast. After that night I questioned everything. If I'd been home, would we have all gone together, stayed longer and thus missed the intersection at that particular moment. Would we have even gone out at all? Or maybe I would have gone out and brought the ice cream back." he stopped and turned to look at me finally. Both our characters were motionless on the video game.

I was sure my mouth was hanging open. Dad never talked about that night. "But a million different things could have happened that night based on a million different things, even if you were home..."

"That's my point kiddo. If you had told me or Mrs. Anderson about Todd, maybe he could have gotten help sooner. Maybe he would have found new ways to hide his drinking, maybe he would have felt so betrayed that he tried harder things like drugs. A lot of things could have happened. You made what you thought was the right decision at that moment. You could spend months wondering if it was the best decision and debating with yourself but in the end, it's done." he said giving me a smile, this time I couldn't detect any disappointment in his face. "And thankfully Todd is fine, for the most part. He's got a lot of healing to do, physically and mentally but he's better off with you in his life and knowing he can trust you.

I leaned toward him and gave him a tight hug. "Thank you Daddy."

The following weeks ushered in the heat of impending summer. The gossip about Todd died out as students and staff turned their attention to plans for the end of the school year and summer plans. Even though there was still a few weeks of school remaining, most people were suffering from summer-itis and it became more and more apparent with each day.

One of the last big projects for sophomore science was a field trip to a local farm in the spring. Aside from the growing crops, many of the animals had recently had babies so the farm was a flurry of activity.
Timothy sat with Bella on the bus ride, they had remained together despite Bella seeming to be at the center of much of the gossip about Todd and I. Timothy claimed she was sorry for it but I wondered. She and Timothy wandered off together as soon as we arrived at the farm. Veronica waved and disappeared as well, I wondered where she was off too for a moment before Todd and Erik took up positions on either side of me.

"Where's V off to?" Erik asked watching her departing figure. With no answer, I merely shrugged. Erik turned to me a smiled. "What should be look at first?"

Todd pointed down the nearest path. "Let's go that way."

"Alright." I said walking between the two of them. We passed Veronica eventually - talking to Lance Caulder of all people. I watched her curiously but decided not to comment. Many smaller groups of students had gathered to chat, explore and gossip during the field trip.



We had to stop a few times due to overcrowding but eventually wove our way through the crowds. Every once in awhile I would catch a snippet of conversation and turn to find eyes on us. Apparently the gossip about Todd wasn't as dead as I'd thought (or hoped). When they saw me meeting their gaze, they would turn away. Todd seemed oblivious to it all.

I had no idea where we were going until Erik and Todd stopped and I bumped into both of them. "Oof, sorry!" I said with a sheepish smile.

Erik smirked. "Care to join us on planet Earth Gin?" he joked.

I chuckled. "Sorry. Guess I sort of zoned there." I said squeezing between them. I felt closer to Erik and Todd than I'd ever felt to Veronica. I glanced around again, wondering where she was and what she was up to. I gave up looking and returned my gaze forward. "Horse." I said, realizing how lame it sounded as soon as it escaped my lips - it's just that horse was right in front of us.



"Very good Ginny." Todd said with a laugh. It was great to hear him laugh, even at my expense. "Can you tell use what the winged, feathery creatures are too?"

"Errr...." I pretended to think. "Cows?" I joked. Erik and Todd laughed beside me and I giggled a long with them. I reached out to stroke the horse gently and after a moment wondered if we were supposed to touch the animals. No one was rushing to stopped me so I kept petting the gorgeous black animal.

After several minutes, Todd turned from the horse. "Everything okay Todd?" I asked looking at him.

"Yeah, just a little sore. Too much walking I think. I'm gonna go see if I can find a haystack to sit on or something okay?" he asked. Erik and I both nodded and watched him limp away. Even though his burns and injuries were mostly healed, I knew he was still hurting at times - and was too stubborn to rest usually.

"How's James?" Erik asked after a lingering silence between us. He tried to seem nonchalant about the question, but as he looked away from me, I knew he didn't really want to know.

"Okay I guess." I said thinking about James. We hadn't really had a chance to talk to each other much, let alone see each other. The state tournament was in a little over a week and his debate coaches were taking up just about every moment of his time. When he'd called a couple nights ago, he'd dozed off while we were talking and I told him to go to bed.

"You guess?" Erik prompted, drawing me out of my thoughts.

"Er, yeah - he's going to the state-wide Speech and Debate Tournament next week so he's been busy and my dad has been insisting on more father-daughter time lately, ever since Todd's accident." I said. "Not much time for dating." I said with a weak laugh.



Erik nodded. "It'll get better in a few weeks, summer's coming up - lots of free time then right?" he said. I sighed. Summer - it should be a wonderful opportunity to spend time with James and my dad but plans were already made. "What? What's the matter Gin?"

"Well for one, my dad and I made plans to do this whole east coast tour over the summer; for like two months. It'll be fun but no time for James. Besides, if James does well at the state tournament, he'll be off to the national tournament and even if he doesn't, he's doing a summer internship in Washington for all of July and August. So even when I do get back, he'll be gone." I said slumping against the fence. "Don't get me wrong, I'm really looking forward to the east coast thing with my dad!"

Erik put his arm around my shoulders and smiled. "I know you are but you're disappointed about missing time with James - I get that." We fell into another silence, but it didn't feel awkward to me as I leaned into Erik and took comfort in his presence. "Come on, let's go check out the crops - get our hands dirty." Before I could object, he led me over to one of the fields. We'd been told we could harvest and pick things if we liked to eat for lunch or just to take home. I wasn't really interested in taking anything home but looking over all the crop varieties was interesting.

As if triggered by the sight of fresh food, my stomach grumbled. Erik and I laughed. "Guess we better harvest ourselves some lunch!" Erik said with a grin.



"Ow!" I said as I fought the tomato plant for a single tomato. "I don't think I'm designed to 'live off the land'" I said tugging. The tomato squished in my hand and tomato guts covered my hand and pant leg. "Yeah, I am a city girl."

Erik was laughing at me and I turned to give him a fake glare. It was pretty funny, I couldn't deny that. "Okay, I'll harvest your lunch." he said easily pulling a tomato off. He held it up to me like he was going to toss it to me and I flinched away. He burst out laughing again. "I wouldn't throw it! Of course then your shirt would probably match your pants." he said with a wink. He pulled another tomato off and walked over to me, holding one out to me.

"Thanks." I said taking it. "Let's see what else they have, surely I can wrestle some grapes off a vine or something." I said grinning. We wove through the students and this time I didn't hear any gossip until we passed a couple of Todd's ex's and Alan something or other. I followed their gaze until I saw Todd lingering near Timothy and Bella. At the same time I saw Bella watching Todd and barely constraining a giggle of her own.



Erik and I walked past them toward another field and I saw Todd sit down in the picnic area, attempting to ignore them. We'd chosen apples for our next battle and were deep in the trees when I heard shouting, I instantly recognized Todd's voice and soon distinguished Alan's and Kimi's from the mix. "Come on!" I called to Erik before making a dash for the picnic tables, where I suspected they were.

Erik beat me out of the trees and I could tell he picked up his pace as he took in the scene in front of him. "Todd! No!" he called out but his voice couldn't be heard over the cacophony of voices and bellows of the students all around.



Erik skidded to a halt as he neared the edge of the crowd and I skidded behind him. Together we attempted to push our way to the front of the crowd, with Ms. Moore closing in as well. "Break it up!" she called.

"Now!!" bellowed Coach Tyson, pushing through from the other side. "Move! Go!" he said to the students as he made his way to the center where Todd and Alan were brawling. The students parted easily as the teachers came through and allowed them to pulled Todd and Alan apart - although they groaned as the fight came to an end.

"Both of you are suspended for the rest of the day, you'll return to the school and meet with Principal Watts." Ms. Moore said firmly. Alan immediately protested that it was all Todd's doing and that Todd had thrown the first punch. Todd, while clearly annoyed, chose not to argue with the teachers.



Ultimately Coach Reed escorted them both back to the school hours before the rest of us returned on the bus. Shortly after they'd left, I heard a familiar snickering and turned to see Bella giggling. Timothy turned on her. "What do you find so funny?"

"Well you have to admit..." she trailed off when she looked at Timothy. "Or not." she said sobering up.

"Yeah, right." Timothy said rolling his eyes. "You know what Bella, it's over." he said.

"What?! Why?" she sputtered.

"Because you are not the person I thought you were." Timothy said a little loudly.



I cringed just as Bella did. But Timothy turned on his heel and stomped over to where Erik and I were standing. "Sorry." I said quietly.

"Don't be." Timothy said. With still no sign of Veronica, Erik, Timothy and I spent the rest of the afternoon exploring the farm together. We didn't talk about Bella. We didn't talk about James. We didn't really talk about Todd. We made jokes and had a few vegetable fights that I'm sure Ms. Moore would not have approved of and we laughed together.

I waited until near dark before going over to the Anderson's that night. Mrs. Anderson told me Todd couldn't have ANY visitors and sent me home. I looped around to the back off the house quietly and looked at the tree that I knew had branches right next to Todd's room. I had last climbed it about six years ago and I wasn't sure if I could do it but I wanted to check on him. After several near misses and a badly scrapped knee, I tapped several times on Todd's window until I got his attention.



"Ginny!" Todd said a little loudly as he scrambled to open the window. "What are you doing here....in a tree? I have a door ya know."

"Yeah except your mom won't let me in." I said quietly. "I wanted to check on you." The wind chose that moment to blow and I dug my nails into the bark and instantly regretted it as small splinters stung my fingers. I grimaced.

"Well that's great - not sure it's worth climbing this old tree but I appreciate it." Todd said.

"Okay, enough - what happened?" I asked hoping each moment that I didn't fall from the tree, break my leg and probably join Todd in the grounded for life department.

Todd sighed. "Suspended for a week, grounded for all eternity now. I shouldn't have swung, I know that! But Alan wouldn't shut up."

I nodded. "Are you going to be able to make up the work from your medical absences and the suspension in just a couple weeks?" I knew he was still trying to make up the work following the accident and I wondered if he's be able to pass his classes for the semester.

Todd shrugged. "I don't know Ginny, I hope so. Maybe if I tell my mom we're studying you can avoid the tree next time?" I laughed and nearly lost my balance. "Go on and get down before you break your leg. I'll see you at school....in a week or so."

I smiled. "Stay strong, I'm just next door if you decide to make a prison break - although I wouldn't advise it." I carefully got down from the tree and was almost spotted by Mrs. Anderson but ducked out of sight and ran home quietly.

End Chapter

School Days: Sophomore Year

Chapter 18: Rumors and Recovery

Todd had the "good" fortune of having his wreck early in spring break. The hospital stay ate up most his break and then he stayed home for a week recovering. Despite the fact that he was grounded, I showed up at his house everyday to visit and Mrs. Anderson let me stay. I'm not sure if she realized I would make a nuisance of myself or if she thought cutting Todd off completely would be bad for him. Either way I was happy she let me see him.

In all the time I'd spent with him since he'd come home, I'd avoided the issue of drinking. I wanted to talk about it but I didn't want to push him. But more and more we fell into awkward silences, like there were things to be said and we were both avoiding the topics. "Truth time." I said during one such silence.

"Oh man." Todd said but I was sure I detected a bit of relief, like he'd been hoping I would break the ice first. "Okay, shoot."

"When?" I asked what I felt was the easiest of all questions. "When did you start?"

"When? That's your question?" Todd asked surprised.

"Yes, that's my question." I said with a small smile.

"Um, okay - last fall, after a football game. I was over at Dirk's house for a post game party and he offered me a beer." Todd said. "I accepted - told myself it was a one time thing."



"But it wasn't." I said.

"It started that way." Todd said turning his face from mine.

"Okay." I said and decided to drop the subject for now. There really was more to say, more to ask, but I would let Todd continue now that ice was broken. I just hoped he would open up eventually. My phone rang then and I saw it was from James. I felt a pang of guilt, I'd been neglecting James to be with Todd lately and hadn't really talked to him for more than a few minutes at a time since the accident.

"Answer it. You've ignored his calls at least a half dozen times while here and that's not good for a guys' ego." Todd said with a small chuckle. "Besides, I'm pretty sure my mom's gonna get you out soon anyway. I'll see you later Ginny."

I laughed and then answered the phone. "Hey James!" I said happily. I waved to Todd as I left, listening to James on the other end. "Yeah I've missed you too." We chatted as I crossed through Todd and my back yards and I sat back on one of the pool lounge chairs. "That's great!" I said excitedly as James told me he'd gotten second at the regional event we'd left early. He was swamped with practices for the state tournament lately. An hour later my dad came out and found me still talking. He tapped his watch to tell me it was time to hang up and I said good bye to James and followed my dad in the house.

Due to the underage drinking and the damage to public property, Todd had to appear in front of a judge a few weeks after the accident. While his burns were not completely healed, they'd healed enough he was able to move around some in small doses. I got up early so I could see him off the morning of his court appearance. "So?" Todd said adjusting his tie again anxiously. "How do I look?"

"Good, clean and respectful." I said brush a stray hair from his jacket. I gave him a reassuring smile.



"I wish you could come, would be nice to have a friendly face." Todd said.

"Just be respectful, honest and good." I said. "Accept whatever he gives you with grace."

"Right, respectful...." Todd said looking at his hands.

I took his hands in mind and gave them a quick squeeze. "You can do this." I said softly. "And I'll be there in spirit." I said.

"Thank you Ginny." he said pulling me into a tight hug. His strong arms nearly crushed me against his body but I didn't stop him or protest. Mrs. Anderson's heels clicked on the tile floor and Todd released me and then we followed her out of the house quietly. I watched them drive away before heading to school by myself.

The rumors about Todd's accident had been flying for weeks but most assumed he'd fallen asleep at the wheel or swerved to miss something. Somehow it hadn't gotten out that he'd been drinking. "Did you know?!" Timothy and Veronica asked me in unison as they approached me that morning. Erik walked up before I got a chance to answer and lingered, apparently wanting to know what I had to say as well.



"Did I know what?" I asked looking around as if the faces of the students around me would have an answer. Half of them were looking at me, the other half seemed to be looking anywhere but me. "What's going on?"

"Did you know Todd was drinking?" Veronica hissed. "When he got in his wreck?"

Ah! "Who told you that?" I asked evading the question, already knowing it was one of those 'A heard it from B who heard it from C's sister....' situations.

"Bella did." Timothy said. "Her uncle works at the police station apparently. I'm not sure as what..."

"She's telling everyone that Todd was driving drunk, which is why he has a court appearance today. Is it true? And did you know?" Veronica asked, having taken over for Timothy.

I glanced over at Bella, who had new victims in her grasp. I saw Erik watching me curiously but I ignored them all as I watched Bella animatedly tell her tale - which unfortunately was true.



I turned away from the scene and my friends and fished out my books for the morning and slammed the locker door shut, drawing attention. Apparently everyone assumed I would confirm their suspicions about Todd seeing as I was his best friend. With another look around, I saw Dirk standing near Mark from the school paper. Mark was watching me, probably already composing tomorrow's article based on my reaction. I stared past my friends at him. "No comment." I said and left them all standing there looking confused.

Erik was the first to react and hurried after me. "Gin, hey Gin wait up." he said as he wove through the crowd. It had parted for me easily but had closed back in as I passed so he had a harder time getting through.

I was the first one in my first period class and Erik slid in right after me even though his class was on the other side of the building. "What?" I asked leaning against the wall and looking at him.

"I wanted to make sure you're okay. There's a lot of talk - most of it is BS, I'm sure but....there's a lot of talk." Erik said.

"There always is around here. Nothing spreads faster than a rumor. True or otherwise." I said.

Erik looked like he was about to ask something, maybe ask if it was true or not but as a couple other students filtered in, he thought better of it. We looked at each other for a moment before he just nodded. "I better get to class." he said. He gave me a quick, awkward hug and then left.

My classmates were staring at me but didn't say anything until Erik had left. "Are you and Todd Anderson a couple? I heard you were."...."Were you in the accident? I heard you were there!"...

I think they asked more questions but I tuned them out and took my seat as more people flowed into the classroom, most of them staring at me. My morning classes felt like they dragged by and even trying to tune people out, I heard more rumors about Todd and myself than I cared to know about. Most of them were false but I worried about Todd coming back to all this. He was supposed to be back in school for the second half of the day assuming his court appearance didn't take long and I knew my experiences would pale in comparison.

"If you knew, and I'm not saying you did, just if you did - you should have told someone." Timothy was saying as I stood absently by his locker. Veronica seemed to be agreeing and Erik was staying silent. I wondered what he was thinking as I stared into the crowd of students lingering between classes.



Without looking at them I spoke as I caught the first glimpse of Todd walking through the gossipy crowd. "If it had been you - for whatever reason - would you have forgiven me if I'd told?" I asked. I pushed through the people to meet Todd half way.

"Ginny!" Todd said, clearly relieved to see me. "What's going on?" he asked quietly, hazarding a glance around. Behind him I could see several of the years' exes watching our exchange.

"Gossip and rumors - and you're - well we are the star attraction." I said quietly. "How did it go?" Before he could reply, the bell rang, sending some of the audience scattering but most were still watching us. I gave him a quick hug. "We'll talk later - try to ignore the sharks." I said with a faint smile.



As we hugged, I could have sworn I heard a whispered "See, I told you!" or two but I resisted the urge to seek out the gossips. The rest of the day was as painful as the start, with Todd there, the gossip became louder and people got braver - peppering me with questions I refused to answer.

I hurried out of school and caught up with Todd in front of the school. We both took one look at the bus and decided that thirty minutes trapped in a cage being stared at was too much to handle so we stated walking in silence. "That was...." Todd started but trailed off.

"Horrifying? Long? Tedious? Annoying? Stop me when I hit the right adjective." I said with a small smile.

"All of the above." Todd said. "I'm sorry Ginny, that you seemed to have gotten pulled in like this."

I shrugged. "Eh, by next week something else will happen and they won't give either of us the time of day." I waited a moment, hoping Todd was speak up. "So...."

"Community service, rehab program and a fine." Todd said. "My dad was there and paid the fine but I'm sure that won't be the end of that. He barely looked at me all morning and he and my mom were fighting when they dropped me off for school. Nothing new there." I took his hand as we walked. After a few minutes of silence he paused and turned to me. "Thank you Ginny - for being here, just...for being here."

"I'm always here Todd." I said with a smile.



"I wished I'd figured that out six months ago," he said looking away and starting to walk again.

"Why?" I asked, but he didn't answer me, just continued walking toward home. As we approached his house, I saw his dad's car in the drive way and could hear arguing inside. I knew Todd had to get home due to grounding but I pointed toward the back where we could sit and talk without having to go inside. The old swing set Mr. Anderson had built for Todd and Meghan was still there so Todd and I sat down. "What did you mean Todd?" I asked finally.

"Hmm?" Todd evaded my gaze for a few minutes. "When Mei-Ling and I broke up, you were there and having you there made it easier for me. And when my parents started talking divorce, you were there. You were...you were the only light in a dark room. And then we weren't talking to each other and there was just..darkness. My parents were fighting more and I felt like I was grasping around in total darkness. I tried dating - to get over Mei-Ling, to get over you, to distract myself. They were fun I guess, but none of it lasted obviously. And then Dirk offered me that beer and the darkness seemed like more of a fog - and that wasn't so bad. So I drank again. By the time you and I started talking, I was drinking three or four times a week just to avoid everything." he paused and must have detected something on my face. "I don't blame you Ginny - please don't think I'm putting this on you. It was all me. I realize that now anyway."

"Are you sure?" I asked.



"Ginny, you are the best friend I have. Sometimes I think you're the only friend I have. After we started talking again, I told myself I wouldn't drink anymore. And for a couple weeks, I didn't. Then over the holidays, more and more boxes started piling up as my dad prepared to move out and I would come home and see my mom crying and it hurt, for months I had been numbing the pain with alcohol or girls or just being busy but I was angry with my dad for putting us through all this and I was feeling all the pain I'd been avoiding and I went to Dirk's and drank a lot for the rest of the school break. I spent as much time away from home as I could. And then my birthday happened and my dad picked that day of all days to move out. He never even acknowledged my birthday other than giving me the keys to the car. And that card...." he stopped and looked pained as he recalled it.

"And you got drunk, and stumbled to my house." I said finishing for him.

"I didn't mean to, I don't think. I'm kind of glad I did but I don't think I meant to come to your house that night." Todd said. "I loved her." he said switching tracks slightly. "I don't think I realized how much until she was gone."

I was silent, not sure what I could say to comfort him or if he wanted me to say something.

"You are the only one I can talk to Ginny - my parents..." he paused a second and we both listened to them continuing to fight inside. "Well they are so involved in their own crap that until the accident I wasn't sure they even remembered they had a son."

We sat quietly together for several minutes, listening to the arguing inside. "Are you going to do the rehab?" I asked finally.

"Yeah, I don't really have a choice but I think it would probably be good. Right?" he looked over at me.

"Probably." I said. "I hope it helps." I realized the sky was turning pink as the sun started to set. "You should probably go inside before they start wondering."

"Yeah. I'll see you tomorrow?" he sounded nervous, like I might say no after all he'd told me.

"Of course, I'll always be there for you." I said as we both stood. I gave him a hug. I was halfway through his gate when he called out to me.

"Hey Ginny?" he called. "Why didn't you tell anyone - after that night? Why didn't you tell your dad or my mom?"

"Wasn't my secret to tell was it?" I asked. "Should I have?"

"No, I don't know, maybe...." he said confused. "Thanks though, for being a friend." I smiled at him and waved as he headed inside to face his parents. I walked through my own yard considering if I should have told someone or not.

At the time, I thought being a friend was keeping him out of trouble. In hindsight, if I'd told maybe he never would have gotten in the wreck, maybe it would have gotten help sooner. Oh maybe he would have hated me for betraying him and would have gotten worse faster. When I walked into my house and saw my dad reading at the table I was still conflicted. "Hey kiddo." he said looking up from his book and giving me a smile.

"Hey." I said meekly. I walked up beside him and he stood to give me a hug. "I knew." I said before he even got turned to face me.



"I knew Todd had been drinking. And I didn't tell. Was I wrong?" I asked, hoping my dad - who always had the answers - would have the answer this time.

End Chapter

Project Unity

Chapter 6

It took some time to stop the flames from the explosion. Only one person had been in the lab at the time and they weren't injured, just suffered from smoke inhalation. After treating them, Freya returned to the lab and stood back to watch as the engineers and scientists swarmed over the scene. Andy took a moment to stand by her friend. "How's the scientist? She see anything?"



"She'll be fine, and no. She was just taking readings from one of the chambers when the explosion happened across the lab." Freya said, still surveying the damage. The walls were charred from the flames and there was a gaping hole near the front of the lab - probably the origin point. "Well I better get back to the medical ward." she smiled at Andy and then started to leave.

"Don't cancel your date with Julian because of this Freya." Andy called after her.

Freya turned back to face Andy. "Why would I do that? I'm looking forward to it."

"Mhmm, I just know you Freya - you two have been dating for going on three years now and you still aren't completely comfortable with it." Andy said as she pulled off her uniform jacket and tossing it aside to get busy examining the damage and beginning repairs.

Freya walked back toward Andy. "There are rules Andy....and I'm skirting the edge of them as it is."

Andy nodded to another engineer and together they started removing wall pieces of the damaged sections, exposing the internal circuitry. "Yeah, I know the rules as well as you Freya. And you know as well as I that the rules are stupid."

"Andy!" Freya hissed. She looked around and saw Katou rearranging some of the lab not far away. Andy just rolled her eyes. Freya stepped closer and lowered her voice. "Regardless of whether they are stupid - they are the rules...."



"And no one has busted you yet for dating him, so stop looking over your shoulder every time and just enjoy yourself Freya. That's all I'm saying." Andy gave her a mischievous grin and a wink. "Now shoo, I have work to do. Don't you have a medical ward to run or something?"

Freya gave her a weak smile and nodded. "I'll see you later Andy." she called as she left the lab. The medical ward was empty of patients so Freya took the chance to go through some of her notes and plug them into the computer as needed. Even as she entered the notes, her mind traveled back to Andy's comments. Andy had always been one to skirt and bend the rules but then Andy wasn't under the same rules Freya was. Andy couldn't understand, not really.

Freya's fingers flew quickly over the keys, only dedicating a fraction of her mind to the process of data entry. The rest thought about the rules and Julian. Julian had been so patient with her over the years. When he'd first started pursuing her, Freya had tried to avoid him - not easy to do on Unity as there are only so many hiding places. But he was a persistent suitor and HE'D never cared about her bloodlines. Eventually Freya had given in.

Freya's thoughts were interrupted by an immediate summons from the Captain for a senior staff meeting. "But I'm not on the senior staff..." Freya said to no one. Nevertheless, twenty minutes later she was standing awkwardly in the Captain's office with Andy, since Dex was still recovering, and Commanders Katou and Bonwick.



"This wasn't an accident." Andy said, starting the meeting off with startled looks from everyone except Captain Hunt - who'd already been told.

"Not an accident?" Bonwick asked. Freya could just imagine the thoughts running through the security officer's mind. "You mean sabotage?"

"Actually I think it was a bomb of sorts." Andy said as if it made a big difference.

"Someone planted a bomb in my lab?" Katou said failing to hide her surprise. She turned her attention to Bonwick. "Surely the security cameras would have seen something."

Freya saw the discomfort pass through Bonwick as she shuffled her feet before steeling her stature. Freya bit the inside of her lip so she didn't smile to see it, Bonwick; like Katou; was no fan of Freya's or any embryotic. "We'll begin reviewing them immediately of course." Bonwick finally said.

"Good." Captain Hunt said. The four ladies snapped their attention to him as a reflex. "Begin an investigation Commander." He turned his attention to Andy, "Have your engineering teams begin making repairs but work with the security team as I imagine they will need to examine your findings as well." Both Bonwick and Andy nodded. "And Commander Katou, I think it would be best if you and your scientists moved to the auxiliary labs until the investigation and repairs are done." Katou nodded but was disgruntled about being kicked out of her space; once again Freya had to stop herself from smiling. "Good, dismissed then."

Bonwick, Andy and Freya made their way to the door. Freya was almost free when the captain called for her. "Doctor Ryan, a moment please." he said. Freya turned to see that Katou was standing in front of the Captain's desk, ready to say something.



Katou gave Freya an icy look before returning her attention to Captain Hunt. "Permission to speak freely sir?" Captain Hunt remained seated but nodded in acknowledgment. "Ms. Ryan..." Katou turned her cold gaze toward Freya again. "Does not belong here."

"Doctor" Captain hunt put particular emphasis on the title, "Ryan is the acting chief medical officer. As such, she is a member of the senior staff."

"She's not a doctor Captain, and she'll never be one." Katou's pale cheeks began to flush with anger. "The Council will not allow it."

"Commander Katou, as Captain, I make the decisions regarding the operation of this vessel. I have appointed Doctor Ryan to her position. As you are not in the medical department, I don't see how this affects you." Captain Hunt said, standing up as he said it. "You've said your piece, you are dismissed Commander."

Freya had spent most of the exchange looking at her feet and hands but looked up in time to see Katou slink back slightly from the imposing form of Captain Hunt. Katou recovered herself quickly and turned on her heel. Freya dodged away from the door quickly as she stormed through.

Captain Hunt walked around to the other side of his desk and approached Freya. "Doctor..." he started. He paused a moment until Freya began to wonder if she should say something in response. "She's right." he said simply and Freya felt her stomach drop, thinking he was having second thoughts about his confidence in her.



"The Council will not allow you to become a doctor - on paper at least." he continued while Freya struggled to remain composed. "But as far as I'm concerned, you are one and as long as I'm Captain of this ship, I will fight for you. Don't let that piece of paper or their stamp of approval hold you back." he said.

Freya nodded but didn't trust herself to make words. On the one hand, he was confirming all her fears - the Council made the rules and as far as they were concerned she wasn't ever going to be good enough. To be a doctor. Or for Julian Ice. But to have Captain Hunt on her side made her feel a glimmer of hope. "Thank you Captain." she finally said nodding like a fool.

Captain Hunt nodded only once and then motioned toward the door. "Dismissed, Doctor." Freya nodded again and left his office quickly.

----

"We haven't found anything." Aribeth Bonwick said as Commander Katou entered the security office. She barely spared Katou a glance before returning to the security footage. She was annoyed and irritated that they hadn't found anything, having gone back almost a week in the logs. By default the computer only kept two weeks in active storage and she didn't want to have to go through inactive storage. Besides, who set a bomb on such a long timer?

"That's disappointing Commander. I thought you were better than that." Katou said.



Bonwick looked at her and glared. You have scientists in that lab almost around the clock, surely someone saw something."

"Not that they've told me." Katou said, annoyance crossing her face as well.

"I thought you were better than that." Bonwick said with a cold smile. For several moments, they simply glared at each other.

"Surely you know which direction to look Commander." Katou finally said, she turned on her heel and left the office. Bonwick said nothing as she left but she knew what Katou meant and nodded to herself in agreement.

----

"You look beautiful Freya" Julian said holding out her chair for her and pushing it in after she sat. "New dress?" he asked taking his own seat.

"Yes. Andy dressed me." Freya said with a laugh. Julian grinned and she laughed. "She picked it out." she amended. "And told me to wear it."

Julian smiled. "I figured." he said with a wink. "To be perfectly honest, she gave me very pointed instructions on my own attire as well. Seems she thinks we can't dress ourselves."



The both glanced over at Andy, who was just sitting at the bar and laughed together. Andy had been both their friend for some time but occasionally went a little over the top. Usually they let her because it was easier. She heard them laughing and turned, she raised a glass to them and then returned her attention to Ash.

"When did Ash start tending bar?" Julian ask, his gaze still on the teenager.

Freya shrugged. "I don't know, I've barely seen him in the galley because I've been so busy."

"Good, I'd be jealous if you'd seen him more than me lately." Julian teased. "I feel like we haven't had a date in months. Oh wait, that might be because we haven't."

"Not true! We had a breakfast date a couple weeks ago. Remember, your first day on the bridge." Freya said with a smile.

"Breakfast dates don't count." Julian said. "Not enough time." Freya merely shrugged off his argument and took a drink. They talked for awhile before leaving the bar, Andy spying on them as they left. Freya caught her looking as they left and Andy grinned at her and winked in encouragement.

They strolled casually as if they had no destination - just a couple on a night "out". But Julian had a destination in mind and Freya knew exactly where he was going. Unlike her, Julian didn't have to suffer with a roommate and actually had very nice quarters so they often ended up back at his place after a date. Tonight was no exception.

Man could she ever get lost in his kisses! "Freya..." Julian said softly, against her lips. Freya cupped her hand around his neck and pulled him into another kiss, effectively cutting off his words.



"I won't be distracted..." Julian said and kissed her again. "Freya, please tell me you'll stay." he whispered in her ear.

"You know I can't." Freya said feeling sad.

"Sure you can." Julian said pulling away from her. "It's easy really, you just don't leave."

"Easy for you." Freya said standing up and straightening her hair and dress. "Not so much for me."

Julian sighed and slumped against the back of the couch. He knew he'd lost. "You torture me you know."

"I don't mean to." Freya said sadly. "I want to stay, boy do I ever....but..."

Julian waved her off. He didn't want to hear it again. "Right."

"Julian..." Freya started, walking toward him. "I'm...."

"Don't say it Freya. It'll just make me feel like a jerk." Julian said standing up. He took her in his arms and held her tightly. "Come on, I'll take you home."

Freya swallowed back the urge to cry but knew she wouldn't hold it back all the way to her own quarters. "Um, I was going to stop by the ward to get something I forgot - you don't need to walk me."

Julian eyed her and she felt horrible lying to him. Finally he nodded and walked her to the door. As the door closed, the both leaned against the wall on either side. As tears stung her eyes, Freya hurried away from his door, in case he came out and saw her sobbing.

Several corridors away, Freya leaned against the wall and had a brief cry before she started walking again. She started for home but somewhere along the way, simply started wandering. Before she knew it, Andy had fallen in step beside her. "Why aren't you buried in Julian's arms being kissed all over?" she asked.



Freya rolled her eyes. "I was, he asked me to stay and I left - like always. I feel horrible."

"Why on Earth of Old did you leave?!" Andy asked loudly. "Three years Freya...a man can only take so much!"

"I can't. You know I can't and you know why! You might think the rules are stupid but I'm already pushing the limits. I shouldn't even be in the medical ward - not as staff at any rate! I'm not going to push my luck any further than I already have."

"You're an idiot." Andy said simply. "Who's to know? You and Julian - and I don't see him running to the Council to tell."

They had stopped walking near the temple and Freya stared at Andy for a few moments and then turned away. Maybe she was an idiot. It took her a few to get out of her own thoughts enough to see the flames. "Fire!"



"What?" Andy asked.

"Fire, the temple is on fire!" Freya said looking in the window. She would have waited for more people to show up except she saw someone laying on the floor, the flames moving toward them. She made a dash for the door only to be pushed back by flames.

"Freya!" Andy called even as she was passing on the news to the bridge. "Wait! Freya!!" Her shouts fell short as Freya disappeared into the temple, and the flames.

End Chapter