Chapter 2: Back to School Blues
Todd was sitting on my bed trying not to look annoyed. "Ginny come on!" he exclaimed as I reached for the dresser drawer again. I had changed my shirt three times and it was clearly grating on him.
I closed the drawer with a sigh and tried to convince myself that he was right to be annoyed with me. Without turning to him, I spoke, "What if he doesn't come back Todd?"
"Then he doesn't come back Ginny. We've been over this already." Todd said trying to sound tender.
I turned and walked toward him. "I know and I'm sorry - I'm just...." I sighed again. "I'm crazy aren't I?"
"Crazy? No...a little unstable? Maybe." Todd said with a smile. I laughed and flopped on the bed next to him.
"How did things get so complicated Todd?" I asked looking at him.
He laid back on the bed next to me and grinned a boyish grin. "Something about being a teenager." he said. "At least yours might come back." he said, his smile fading. I grabbed his hand and squeezed it.
He returned to squeeze and then sat up quickly and pulled me to my feet. "Come on, if we don't leave now we'll have to take the bus."
Our path to the school took us right by the graveyard. Todd noticed my feet falter as we approached it but didn't say anything.
He put his arm around my shoulders and I instinctively leaned into him as we walked. There was a time when passing the graveyard didn't bother me or make me falter, in fact most of the time I was perfectly fine but my thoughts were troubled lately by things other than Erik. I'd seen the date on the school calendar as I looked it over and since then I couldn't stop thinking about that night. I shuddered and tried to push her tortured face from my head. Not today....
When we got to school, I found myself looking for him. Our school wasn't huge but it wasn't small either. I'm sure there was a perfectly reasonable explanation for why I didn't see him. Right....
Todd and I found our new lockers and were soon joined by Veronica. She was the queen of the rumor mill so I turned to her in order to question her. If anyone knew anything, she would know. Before I could say anything she held out her hands to stop me. "Before you ask, I haven't heard anything." she said. I frowned.
"Nothing?!" I asked frustrated.
She just shook her head and shrugged. "The only talk about Erik is about you two breaking up." she said. As we were talking, Timothy joined us. I noticed Veronica looking his way, looking surprised. I glanced over and grinned - he hadn't cut his hair.
I took a moment to look him over as Veronica filled me in on the summer gossip. He was more tan, had new glasses in addition to the new hair. He was looking good after a summer of manual labor in in the Egyptian sun. I caught Veronica looking over at him several times during her gossiping. Her surprised melted into general approval of his new appearance. Finally she finished her recap of all the gossip she'd gathered since returning from California and turned to Timothy.
"I love the hair Timothy!" she said with a flirty smile. Todd and I share a look and tried not to laugh. "And this tan....suits you." she added.
The warning bell rang through the school, sending all the lingering students running to their first period classes. I didn't have any classes before lunch with my friends and I didn't see or hear anything about Erik except gossip about our mid-flight break up. I caught a few people looking my way and then turning to snicker when they saw me watching them.
My first class after lunch was science, which I shared with Veronica and Timothy. When I saw them already in the room, I grinned. Finally! A class with friends! I took a seat next to Veronica and looked over at her but didn't say anything. She knew what I wanted to know.
"Mary, who is an office aide this year, told me he transferred." she said sadly. "I don't know how true it is...but that's what she said..." she was cut off and as Coach Williams - the baseball coach and science teacher - came in the room.
The rest of class and my next class were a blur. I saw nothing of Erik so I could only assume Veronica's report was true. I was sad, then angry, then annoyed - I knew I shouldn't be angry, I'd told him to go. I knew there was a chance he wouldn't come back. And yet - there it was, anger. It was mostly the lack of communication from him that upset me I think.
"Gah!" I exclaimed to my friends outside our last class of the day. Veronica, Todd and I were all in Life Studies together 6th period and were loitering in the hall together before going in. I saw Veronica roll her eyes and I saw Todd holding back something; although whether it was a laugh or a yell of frustration - I'm not sure.
Todd saw him first but I was already rambling about something so he didn't interrupt me. Then Veronica caught sight of him as he got closer and approached the door. "Um Gin..." she said softly and pointed.
I turned around and locked eyes with him. He wasn't smiling. He didn't look angry but he didn't look happy either. He paused only briefly and then walked by us, looking past me to Todd and Veronica. "Reports of my transfer are greatly exaggerated." he said and then walked into the classroom....the same classroom Veronica, Todd and I were headed for.
The four of us had signed up for Life Studies at the end of the year last year when it was still taught by Mr. Franklin. Mr. Franklin was about 90 years old and had a tendency to ramble more about his own life than the coursework. As a result it was supposed to be a pretty easy class. Sadly, Mr. Franklin had passed away over the summer and now the class was being taught by Ms. Moore....as if I hadn't seen enough of her last year. Todd, Veronica and I followed Erik into the classroom and found the few remaining seats. I ended up next to Erik and felt an odd sense of deja vu - we were in the same seats as we sat in last year when we had first period together.
He didn't look my way the entire class period and left when it was over without saying anything. I watched him leave the classroom with a frown. "Oh Erik..." I said softly to myself as I gathered my stuff up.
End Chapter
Chapter 1: Summer Vacation
I stared at my computer screen. The document was totally blank and the words simply wouldn't come to me. I reached for the "Esc" button - this was stupid. I didn't even have this assignment yet, I hadn't even gone back to school yet! But I wanted to put it all down in words so I pulled my hand back and started typing.
What I Did on Summer Vacation
By Genevieve Bartlett
This is supposed to be about my summer I suppose but I'll get around to that less interesting topic later. While I stayed home, my friends went off to have their own adventures this summer and sent back stories and pictures about them.
Mei-Ling, now settled back with her family in China, returned to the hill she'd taken Todd on our trip. She wasn't sure why she came back to this place but she was drawn there and every time she reached the top she felt the urge to cry.
She wondered how Todd was doing but hadn't mustered up the courage to call. She wasn't sure she wanted to hear his voice yet so she stuck to emails. Trying to regain some focus, she returned to training with her old martial arts Master. It took her most of the summer to keep her emotions in check while training and sparring - much to the disappointment of her Master.
As the summer progressed, her emails started to sounds a little better. Meanwhile Timothy hopped on a plane only a week after we'd returned from China. This time bound for Egypt! An uncle of his was working on a large excavation and had invited Timothy to come join him. Timothy, of course, was thrilled at the prospect of digging up ancient relics. He arrived at base camp and felt the first warm rays of the sun on his skin. Being in Egypt, ready to dig up history, was enough the make him grin as he cross the camp for the first time.
His uncle had a few pointers and instructions for him before assigning him an area to dig in. Over the months he lost his glasses twice, spent many hours lugging supplies from camp to the excavation site and of course spent much of his time under the Egyptian sun. As a result he got the first hints of a tan and new glasses by the time summer was winding up. He also collected a few relics both for the institution sponsoring the dig and for himself.
I wonder if he's going to cut his hair before school goes back. Veronica's parents, anxious to go on some world tour - alone - sent her to California to spend the summer with her great aunt. Veronica was upset about it, picturing her great aunt as some wrinkled, wheelchair bound woman who would stop her from doing anything fun in California. As it turned out her great aunt wasn't wheelchair bound at all and owned one of the largest vineyards in California. And while she expected Veronica to contribute some to household chores - she had her own social calendar that didn't involve a teenage girl.
Although the machine nearest the field was mostly for show for the visitors, it still worked and Veronica was encouraged by her aunt and many of the field workers to give it a shot. So she picked a few varieties of the fruits fresh from their branches and tossed them in. She had a small audience of workers leaning against their tools but Veronica was never one to shy from an audience - even if she fell on her butt.
She laughed it off while hiding her flaming cheeks from view. In spite of that embarrassing incident and in spite of having to do some actual chores, her emails and calls were happy and upbeat. She spoke highly of her great aunt and animatedly about the view from the fields at sunset.
Erik went back to Virginia as I expected. As conflicted as I was over our break up, I knew he needed to be there this summer with his mom. Most of what happened to him I had to piece together from other sources as he didn't email or call me except once to announce his brother's birth. Lydia, his mom, was put on hospital bed rest toward the end of her pregnancy due to complications. Ultimately, she ended up having a cesarean section with Erik by here side. I'm not entirely sure why her fiance wasn't there at the time.
John Lynch, her fiance, showed up later while Lydia was napping after the surgery.
When she woke up, Erik left to give them some time together and to give John some time with his son. That is when he found a computer in order to send out a quick birth announcement to all of us and called a few people. The baby, named Gavin, was a cute baby.
Only Todd and I stayed here for the summer out of our friends from last year. At least one was gone for good, possibly two. No one knew if Erik was coming back. Even his dad, who I'd seen a few times around town, said he didn't know. He mentioned having talked a few times with Erik and his ex-wife over the summer but he really didn't know what Erik's plans were.
Todd and I spent most of the summer hanging out together. We were both pretty pitiful. He was missing Mei-Ling but varied between determination to put her behind him and a lonely mess. Meanwhile, I was questioning myself over the breakup. I still cared a great deal about Erik and despite our break up, I wanted him to come back in hopes of at least restoring our friendship. His almost total silence over the summer hurt me, I suspected he was upset with me and that made me feel retched. Taking a page from Todd's book, I decided the best thing I could do would be to put him behind me in case he didn't come back.
"What did you do?!" Todd asked looking at my new hair cut. I'd chopped off several inches that morning, thinking change would be good - like it would help in my drive to move on.
"You don't like it?" I asked fingering the short strands distressed.
"It's not that....I'm just surprised!" Todd said. He ran his fingers through it as well. "It's very cute....just different." he said trying to recover from his outburst.
I laughed and nudged him to the sofa. We had plans to vedge all day playing video games and watching movies. "Come on, you owe me a rematch" I said.
"Ya know, you're not really one to talk about differences" I said glancing over at him mid-game. "You with the gel and the little patch on your chin."
"What's wrong with my 'little patch'?" he asked distracted long enough for me to swoop in a kick his character's butt.
"Well it's just..." I trailed off trying to find the words. "I hate it." I said with a laugh.
Todd just hmphed at me and kept playing but I could see him grinning. We'd had this discussion before, probably doing the same thing. It had been a pretty boring summer with our joint pity parties.
After we were all played out on the games, we switched to movies and the first one that caught Todd's eyes was a vampire movie. It played for about three minutes before I flipped the channel.
"What'd ya do that for?" Todd asked.
I shrugged. "That was the movie playing when I went to the Castle with Erik." I said simply.
Todd nodded and put his arm around me. After several minutes of silence from both of us, Todd squeezed my shoulder. "We'll be okay." he said simply. "School goes back next week and we will both be okay...."
"Right." I said. "Of course we will." I didn't believe myself so I'm sure he didn't either but he didn't say anything.
End Chapter.
The Freshman Year of the School Days crew is officially over. This doesn't mean the story is over, just that they are now Sophomores. More fun and drama to be had by all.
For new readers, you could probably pick up at the start of the Sophomore year without too much trouble (once I start it of course) but if you want to read the entire Freshman year in all it's goodness, they are on the blog or you can follow these links. There are 22 chapters in all.
Freshman Year
(1), (2), (3), (4), (5), (6), (7), (8), (9), (10), (11), (12), (13), (14), (15), (16), (17), (18), (19), (20), (21), (22)
Thanks for reading guys!
Chapter 21: Cloudy Skies
I laid in bed staring at my phone after Erik and Todd left. The first time I reached for it, I put it down with a "hmph". He was being moody and was always quick to jump to being jealous but I'd been nothing but faithful!
The second time I picked it up I managed to dial the first three numbers before clicking end and putting it down with a sigh. But it could have looked bad to him I suppose - not that we'd done anything wrong but still, I could understand....sort of.
The third time I picked it up and punched in his whole number. It rang once before I clicked it off and tossed the phone across the room so I wouldn't be tempted. It landed with a small crash but didn't break. I'd see him at school I decided and pulled a pillow over my head.
I did see him at school but there was a deathly silence coming from his corner of first period and he managed to miss lunch all week. I was still alternating between sadness and annoyance so I didn't try to push him. After a week of stony silence and a week of me having to get my own locker open or lug around all my books, he approached me before school one day. He brushed my hand aside on my locker and popped it open for me and then just watched me as I swapped books. I eyed him curiously but waited for him to break the silence.
"I'm sorry." he said quietly. "For leaving like that, for not talking to you - I'm just sorry. I've had a lot on my mind."
"Okay." I said lamely. "Nothing happened you know." I said quickly. "I wouldn't..."
"Yeah. Look, I gotta go get ready for a final - can we talk later? Meet me in the gym after school?" he asked
"Sure." I said looking confused. He had seemed ready to talk and he was back to rushing off. I watched him walk away and slumped against my locker.
Todd watched him leaving as he walked up beside me. "Talking again?" he asked.
"Sort of....I guess." I said annoyed. "He looked like he was ready to talk and then rushed off."
The rest of my day was miserable. It was finals week so we had a special schedule to allow for finals in the morning and afternoon. Three hours in my computer final was miserable. I think I passed but I may scrap by with a C. Timothy tried to reassure me after but seeing as he was done an hour into the test and played computer games the rest of the time, I didn't put much stock in his assurances about MY performance.
By the end of my afternoon final, theater, I felt better. I was confident and hopeful that Erik and I would survive everything going on around us. He would realize nothing had happened or would happen between Todd and I; his mom would completely relent and agree to let him stay; the China trip would be over and everything would be great.
I told myself all these things as I crossed the school, as I cursed my locker and then headed down to the gym. I told myself this as I made a packing list in my mind. We left for China in just a couple days and I hadn't even started packing my suitcases. Veronica said she had six packed already earlier. I was calm and ready to talk with Erik when I walked into the gym.
And saw him in Mei-Ling's arms. It looked like more than just friendly hug. In a matter of seconds a dozen explanations flashed through my mind but I settled on the worst. After all his moodiness, all his jealousies...
I narrowed my eyes and cleared my throat to get their attention. They broke apart and didn't look the least bit guilty or concerned when they saw me. Odd.
Erik came towards me smiling, seemingly happy to see me but stopped as my looked over my face. He looked confused and then caught sight of Mei-Ling and understanding swept over him. "Gin...nothing...."
I didn't let him finish as I threw my hands up. "Gah!" I said loudly and turned on my heal to run out.
"Gin!" Erik called at the same time Mei-Ling called out as well. "Ginny!"
I didn't listen and kept going.
Somewhere in my head, buried under a lot of heat and rage, I knew there were a lot of reasons for what I just saw - none of which equaled Erik cheating but I ignored that slightly more rational thought and ran all the way home.
When I got home I stomped up to my room and pulled my suitcases out of the closet with several loud crashes, curses and bangs. I set them on the floor and collapsed next to them. Staring at them, tears stung my eyes and the anger dissipated replaced by sadness - overwhelming sadness.
I'm not sure how long I sat there staring at the empty suitcases. Eventually I heard a knock on my door. My face felt tight and my eyes were dry. My dad stepped into the room and stood at the doorway looking at me. He hadn't been home when I came in or during my fight with the suitcases. I'm not sure he knew anything was wrong but he seemed understanding. Maybe Todd had told him something. Maybe he assumed I was still sulking.
"Erik's here." he said quietly.
"I don't want to talk to him." I said looking up at him for the first time.
"Okay." he said sitting next to me. "But the two of you are about to be stuck on a very long flight to China together - you might want to figure it out before then."
I didn't say anything.
"It's normal you know." he said after a few moments of silence.
"What?" I asked as I picked at the carpet fibers.
"Fighting....with someone you love." he said. "Not that you should do it regularly but it's not the end."
I leaned my head against his shoulder and he put his arm around me and just held me.
"I was wrong about him." he said. "I think he's a good kid."
"I thought so too." I muttered. I stayed in my dad's arms for awhile before making an excuse about packing. He gave me a tight hug and motioned to the window as he left. I walked over to it and looked out. There he was, waiting, hoping....he saw me in the window but didn't motion for me. He just watched me as I turned away and closed the curtain.
Since we were on a finals schedule, I didn't have to see him until the day we all met outside the school for the airport shuttle. Todd and Mei-Ling seemed perfectly happy and Mei-Ling caught my eye. She looked apologetic but not guilty. Veronica pulled me aside before Erik had arrived. "I don't think anything happened" she said quietly. I'd given her the details of that afternoon and apparently she'd done some snooping.
I saw Erik's dad's car arrive out of the corner of my eye but returned my gaze to Veronica before I caught his eye. "Mei-Ling told Todd about it and she was really distressed about you." Veronica added quickly.
I just shrugged. I had a few days to calm down and start hearing the more rational thoughts and I knew it was entirely possible the hug was platonic. I was even ready to accept that if Erik came over to me and told me so. But the hug wasn't out only problem lately so I wasn't ready to talk to Erik. I sat with Veronica on the shuttle and tried to stay with her as much as I could to avoid the inevitable. It was easy to ignore his calls and emails at home, it was even easy to avoid him at school but there were only seven of us total including Ms. Moore. I was going to run out of ways to hide soon.
We checked in at the airport and filed through security one at a time. I ended up behind Erik in the line but the security officers kept us too busy with shoes and bag checks to talk and once we were on the other side we had a gate to get to.
While we waited for the plane, I took up a position of solitude by the window, watching the planes come and go over the ocean. Our airport was situated in such a way that it almost felt like you land on water when you came in.
I heard soft footsteps approach me and saw Mei-Ling's faint reflection in the glass. I didn't acknowledge her. Behind me I could hear Todd's voice. "She's really upset man." he was saying.
"But nothing happened, she was just sad because of going home....she's my friend..." Erik explained.
"I understand that." Todd said with emphasis on the I. "And I'm sure Ginny is to the point that she does too....but after everything else...." he trailed off without specifying what 'everything else' was.
Erik didn't reply to that. He knew what everything else was without Todd saying. The moods, the jealousy, the silent treatment....mostly the jealousy. I tuned them out and continued to stare at the ocean and the planes. I was so focused on it that I didn't hear Mei-Ling leave and I didn't hear him approach me until he said my name.
"Gin." he said softly. I turned slowly to look at him. "It was just a hug..." he said. "Nothing happened. Please believe me."
I nodded and looked back at the ocean. "I believe you." I said.
"You...You do?" he asked sounding surprised.
''Should I not?" I asked not looking at him. "You haven't given me a reason not to trust you."
"But the other day and the calls...." he trailed off.
"I was upset and...slightly irrational. But I believe you. If you say nothing happened then nothing happened." I said.
"Okay then." he said still sounding unconvinced. "We never got a chance to ...." he was cut off by a call for our flight.
"Flight 1408 to China now boarding." An emotionless voice rang over the loud speakers.
"Time to board." I said grabbing my carry on.
Erik grabbed his own and walked along side me but neither of us spoke. Ms. Moore stood at the gate making sure we all boarded and then followed us onto the plane.
End Chapter
Chapter 22: China Here We Come!
As soon as we were on the plane I felt crowded. I have no problem with flying but I knew it was going to be a long flight and I wasn't ready. I already knew that Ms. Moore had arranged our seats as close together as she could but the best she could do was two three person rows a few rows a part and then a single for herself where she could keep an eye on us without being in the middle of us - really it's not like we could get away from her on a plane in flight anyway. The walk down the aisle felt long to me as I waited to see where Erik would sit, I had no idea if we were on the same row and I was making plans for a seat swap if needed. Erik turned into the row I wasn't assigned to and I tried to hide my relief. I wasn't ready. I took the window seat of my row, followed by Veronica and Timothy. After tucking my carry on under the seat I looked at Veronica seriously. "Don't swap with Erik." I said quietly.
"What?" Veronica asked. I glared at her.
"Do. Not. Swap. Seats." I said slowly and she just shrugged.
"Like I'd want to sit next to the love birds." she said looking a few aisles up where Todd and Mei-Ling were already nestled in with each other.
I didn't make a plea to Timothy - as long as Veronica refused to give up her seat I was hoping I could delay things. Of course if Timothy did swap with Erik, Veronica would lose interest in being stuck in the middle of us. I leaned back and stared out the little window waiting for take off.
The plane was starting to taxi out when Veronica broke the silence. "Okay so why are you avoiding Erik - who if you recall IS your boyfriend and if I heard correctly, you said you believed?"
I sighed again and kept looking out the window.
She took my silence as the only response she was going to get. "Okay then...but you're gonna have to talk to him about....well whatever....at some point. This isn't one of those 'if I avoid it, it will go away' things."
"I know." I said to the window. Whether Erik sensed my mood or was avoiding me as well, he didn't make an attempt to swap seat until almost half way through the trip. I'd slept through most of it so I didn't feel any more ready to talk to him now than I was when we took off. Timothy agreed to switch and Erik took his place to start working on Veronica. She looked at me and knew without words that my request still stood so she refused, claiming not to like the aisle. Erik tried again a few times but ultimately settled into Timothy's seat and our awkward silence. When Veronica excused herself to go to the bathroom, Erik took her seat in the few precious moments he had.
"Gin." he said when I didn't look at him. "Ginny, why are you avoiding me?" he asked putting his hand over mine.
"This...." I stopped and looked at him. His eyes were full of confusion which I expect but also pain - which I wasn't ready for. "I'm tired Erik, can we talk after we land?" I asked willing Veronica to return at that moment. She didn't right then but she did return before Erik could push further. I went back to looking out the small window and drifting in and out of sleep.
When we finally landed and arrived at the hotel we were all tired, dirty and irritable from the flight but Ms. Moore ushered us into a quick group shot. No one made any effort to pose or smile for the tourist she'd gotten to take the picture.
Knowing our luck it will be in the year book.
We'd arrived the day before the tournament which was a good thing since most of us crashed in our rooms to sleep off the bad sleep we'd attempted to get on the flight. The first rounds of the tournament were for the novices - in our little group that was Timothy and I. I'd like to say that Timothy and I were a real credit to our school and our instructor and took top ranks in our division but it's not true. We didn't do badly - we each won a couple matches but we both washed out on the first day.
I can't really say I was disappointed though. I had fun with the club but the tournament had lost it's luster before I even got on the plane. Now I was free to see China with the time we had left.
The second day of the tournament was for the intermediate contenders - including Veronica on the lower end and Todd. Veronica did very well for her belt class and even worked her way up the ranks to compete against a newer blue belt. She ended up taking first amongst the green belts. Todd, though good, was depressed and real life effected his sparring. He held his own but ended up on the bench with Timothy and I before the final matches. He just didn't have any fire in him.
Even though the third day was for the higher level contenders, we all got up early to cheer Erik and Mei-Ling on for their matches. The sun had barely touched the sky when we met and I tried to stifle a yawn.
Erik's first match wasn't for another hour so he pulled me aside as soon as he could. "Ginny can we talk please?" he asked.
I shut my eyes tightly to focus. I knew I couldn't put this off much longer but I didn't want to mess up his competition - I didn't want to mess up anything. "You've got to stay focused Erik, I don't think now is really the time." I said as serenely as possible.
"Gin - you're avoiding me, you won't talk to me....you say you believe me about Mei-Ling and yet...." he trailed off. "What's wrong?"
"Just not now!" I snapped and then immediately regretted it as he recoiled back from me.
To his credit, he put his frustrations toward me into his sparring and breezed through his sparring matches. On the last one he stumbled and lost the match coming in second for his belt class. Mei-Ling, who had years of practice on all of us, was able to focus entirely on the sparring. Nothing stopped her as she climbed the tournament ranks. Although she didn't come in first for her belt, she placed highly. Her previous instructor was at the match as well and challenged her to a spar to test her.
The tournament also included a board breaking portion which Veronica, Timothy and I had all decided not to enter. Timothy decided to go watch though while Veronica and I took the day to get away. Veronica made a list of places she wanted to shop and I made a list of places I wanted to see. We agreed to try to do both while we had the chance. Shopping was first.
I let Veronica drag me from shop to shop and the act of shopping kept her attention off of me and on herself. I knew she wanted to see if I had talked to Erik, when I would talk to Erik, what would I tell Erik, and so on and so forth - but she wanted new clothes more.
I dragged her to Palace and the Terracotta Army after the shopping. Once again, her urge to complain about my choice of activity took priority of her need to pry into my life.
We were walking back to the hotel when I saw a little pile of rubbish in the grass. I looked over to investigate and saw a fleck of gold so I dragged Veronica over.
"Seriously Ginny! The history lesson was enough - why are you digging in the dirt?" Veronica asked looking less than amused.
I ignored her and kept poking around the bit of rubbish.
"Okay fine, well while you're digging you can at least entertain me." Veronica said changing her tactics. "I know you haven't talked to him yet - I caught your little scene at the tournament - so why don't you tell me why you're avoiding him?"
I considered ignoring her but figured she'd just keep bugging me. "I think I need to break up with him." I said bluntly.
Her eyes about bulged out of her head. "You what?!" she said kneeling beside me. "Why? You don't think anything happened...so why?"
I sighed. "Part of him - a big part of him - wants to go home to Virginia to be with his mom. But he doesn't want to hurt me I don't think. I'm afraid if I don't, he'll stay here and then be miserable." I sat down on the grass and tucked my knees to my chest. "You've seen how he's been.....am I wrong?"
Veronica sat down next to me. "Heck if I know Gin - he has been moody but I figured it was because he wanted to stay and his mom was making him go...."
"At first that's what it was I think but then when she came and dropped that bombshell at his birthday...." I trailed off.
"So it for his own good then." Veronica said trying to follow my reasoning. "No other reason."
"Well the jealousy bugs me but I can live with that - I wasn't the most rational person either. But Todd is my best friend - don't give me that look." I said with a half-hearted smile. "I don't know V! None of it feels right anymore."
"Maybe you guys just need a break. He's going back to Virginia for the summer anyway, why don't you just let it go and see where things are after?" she said sounding almost reasonable to me.
"I can't let him leave without talking to him. And what would I say - oh I've been avoiding you but it's all good now, see you in the fall." I said.
"True I guess..." Veronica said putting her arm around me and leaning into me.
The next day was a free day for us to see the sights but Ms. Moore wanted at least one more group shot. She took us to the steps of the palace and we all put a little more enthusiasm into it for her sake and then she released us with strict curfew instructions - except for Mei-Ling. Her parents had come for the tournament and were planning to leave with her tonight. Todd and Mei-Ling were the first to disappear, clutching each others hands tightly.
Mei-Ling took Todd to a quiet hilltop from which they could see the great waterfalls and overlook the city. Neither of them spoke on the way up and just held hands as they stood at the peak of the hill. "Thank you Todd." Mei-Ling finally said turning to look at him.
"Thank you for making this such a special year." she said fighting back the tears.
Todd was fighting his own emotions as he pulled her into a hug. "Thank you." he said softly. "Being with you has been...."
"Wonderful." Mei-Ling finished. "I cannot believe the year is over already." she said looking out over the city.
"I know." Todd said still holding onto her, afraid to let go of her - afraid it might be the last time.
"I did not expect to find you when I went to America - I did not even expect to enjoy it there." Mei-Ling turned and gave him another tight embrace.
"I want to tell you how much I'll miss you, I want to ask you not to go, I want to say a lot of things and just don't know what the words are." Todd said. "We'll write..."
"And call." Mei-Ling added with a sad smile.
"And email." Todd said matching her tiny smile.
"Right." they said at the same time and chuckled a little. They didn't come down from the hill top until dusk. Mei-Ling parents, for their part, did look sad about splitting the pair up but there wasn't really much to be done. It was a one year exchange program. After they drove off, Todd walked off as well. I had an idea where he was going but wanted to give him some time first. The others stood behind me watching him leave and waiting for me to make a move. After awhile I followed him and found him at the lake not far from the hotel. I sat beside him but didn't say anything.
"This sucks Ginny." he said finally.
"I know." I said. "I'm sorry it had to be like this."
Todd didn't reply, only stared into the water. He didn't need me to talk so I didn't talk. Eventually the others came up behind us and just stood or sat quietly lending their support.
I spent the last few days of our trip hanging out with Todd mostly. He wasn't in the mood to see China and I wanted to be there for him if he needed someone.
I decided not to put up a fight on the flight home, Erik had endured almost two weeks of almost complete silence from me since the incident in the gym and I was too emotional exhausted to keep it up. Since we were going home one less than we came with, Erik and I ended up with a row without the others. We did have a German tourist on the aisle but he ignored us. I was staring out the window when I felt Erik take my hand. When he squeezed it, I instinctively squeezed his hand back but didn't look over at him. "Ginny please talk to me." he said softly.
I looked over at him sadly. We were only a quarter of the way into a long flight and I didn't want to spend the rest of the flight with him giving me those pained eyes. If I did it now there would be a different pain there, but it would be the same either way. I looked back at the window to find the right words but none of them came to me. "I think..." I said still looking at the window. "I think we need to take a break..." There was silence beside me and I was afraid to look. Would there be hurt, anger, confusion? All of the above?
"If you're breaking up with me, I'd rather you talk to me and not the window" he said with surprising calmness in his voice. I slowly turned to look at his face and could see the swirl of emotion playing across his face. "Why?" he asked.
"You need to go home to Virginia, at least for the summer. I know you want to..." I said. "When....if....you come back, maybe things will have settled down..."
"If? You think I want to move back there? Or are you hoping I will?" he asked sounding angry.
"Of course not!" I replied quickly and honestly. "I don't want you to move back but....I could understand if you did."
Erik was silent, piercing me with a gaze I wanted to flinch away from. "You say a break....are you breaking up with me here Ginny?" he asked after several tense minutes of silence.
"Yes." The word was out of my mouth before I even knew I was going to say it. I was pretty sure my own eyes were as wide as his at my response but it was the truth. At least I think it was. Unable to find the words to take it back or maybe unwilling to, I made the uncomfortable effort to get past both Erik and our German rowmate to go to the bathroom. I stayed in there longer than necessary and then begged with Timothy to switch seats with me on the way back. He was a good friend, and completely unaware of what had happened, so he agreed.
I saw Erik watching me as I took Timothy's seat but I tried not to notice. I ignored the curious looks from Todd and Veronica and tried to tune out the rest of the flight.
When we landed back at home, Veronica had to poke me awake. Most of the flight had already disembarked and she needed by me. I scrambled back to my original seat to grab my abandoned carry on bag and felt relief that Erik had already gone. I was one of the last ones off and was surprised to see Erik waiting for me. I shouldn't have been I suppose but I was.
"That was cowardly, switching seats with Timothy like that." he said calmly.
I couldn't help but agree there. "Maybe it was." I said.
"I don't...." he stopped, trying to control some emotion. "Why?"
I just shook my head. "Because we've been drifting apart for awhile now. Every time we tried to come back together it seemed like we ended up further apart. It hurts too much to watch you push me away...."
"I never meant to push you away." Erik said sounding upset.
"Go home Erik, be with your mom and your new brother when he's born." I said turning to walk away.
He stepped back as if my words had stung him. In a soft whisper, "But this was home..." he said as I walked away from him.
End Chapter; End Season 1
