Chapter 16: The Lock-In
The Lock-In party is basically a chaperoned co-ed slumber party for the entire freshman class. Every class has one each year - the seniors have theirs right after Prom usually at the Pit. But the rest of us have them at the school. Any other time, I may have been excited about this but the idea of being locked in the school with Timothy and Veronica made me cringe. For two weeks I'd been talked at by both of them, endlessly complaining about the other one. I tried to listen to both of them, I tried to encourage them to talk to each other instead of me but they didn't listen.
The moment I walked in the door I was ready to turn tail and run. Veronica looked like she'd swallowed something sour. She was glaring at anyone who came with in ten feet of her. Then her eyes locked onto me. "This is stupid!" she exclaimed making her way toward me. Erik grimaced and made a hasty retreat. He'd grown weary of Veronica - we all were truth be told. 'Coward' I thought in his direction as I faced Veronica.
"Then why are you here?" I asked dropping my bag and pillow on the floor next to hers. They'd cleared the cafeteria for anyone who wanted to sleep and various classrooms had been transformed into movie rooms, game rooms, etc.
"Something about being cheerleader - even just an alternate - means I have to attend so many school functions." Veronica replied as she looked around the room with an annoyed expression.
"Full of school spirit I see." I muttered to myself. To her I merely nodded and said "Ah." while resisting the urge to roll my eyes.
"He's with her." she said changing the subject and looking toward the double doors that lead toward the classrooms.
"Who's with who?" I asked feigning ignorance.
"Timothy of course!" she snapped. "With that girl...what's here name? Oh whatever, the one he went to homecoming with."
"Ranna" I said simply. "And what's the problem there? You broke up with him or told him you didn't want to be a couple or whatever..."
"Yeah but I didn't expect him to move on so quickly..." she said.
"You'd rather he be pining for you then?" I asked. "So you can kick him again the next time the mood suits you?"
She whipped around to face me. "I did not kick him - figuratively or literally!"
"Oh come off it V! You've been kicking him for years. You like the fact that you had this faithful follower no matter what you did to him." I snapped back.
"What the hell is your problem Gin?" she shouted getting the attention from everyone around us, including Todd, Mei-Ling and Erik.
"My problem? My problem is you Veronica - you're everyone's problem lately! Why do you have to be such a bitch exactly?" I asked glaring at her.
"Excuse me? What did you just call me?" she asked startled and growing angrier.
"You heard me. I know you life isn't perfect but that doesn't give you a free pass to be cruel to everyone you meet V!" I paused considering my next words and taking a second to calm down. In a lower voice, "I have forgiven you for years as you pushed everyone around you down - me included. I've forgiven you for everything - and you've done a lot to me and people who have tried to be friends to you but I'm done. I'm not your punching bag, your friends are not your punching bags and you don't get to take your bad attitude out on us. You're so absorbed in other people think of you that you're blind to the things and people you already have, people willing to be your friend. What can't you see those people, why can't you appreciate them?" I felt Erik's hand on my shoulder and looked at him. Veronica was shaking with either anger or sadness - I'm not sure which. The angry part of me would like to say I didn't care but I did. I knew now wasn't the time to talk more though so I let Erik lead me away before I said anything else.
He didn't say anything as he lead me to an empty classroom set up for movies later. "Well?" he asked leaning back on the desk.
"What?" I asked defensively. "Well what?" I asked crossing my arms across my chest.
"You have always been her biggest supporter Gin. You've always reminded the rest of us that in spite of appearances she had good qualities. What was that about down there?" he asked.
"I'm just...." I trailed off trying to figure out the answer. "It's just..."
"Just what Gin?" Erik prompted.
"Gah!" I said looking at him annoyed. "What? I can't be bothered by something without giving you answers? Or is that something only you're allowed to do?" I snapped.
Erik was startled by my outburst. "What are you talking about Gin?" he asked.
"You! You have been bothered by something for weeks - since you got back from Virginia. I can see it in your eyes, your stance, your attitude....you don't think I've noticed?"
"I'm not bothered by anything." he protested but his voice lacked sincerity. His eyes shifted to look to the side as he said it.
"There! Right there! You wouldn't look me in the eye when you just said that! Don't lie to me Erik! Withholding is one thing - frustrating but I can tolerate it but don't lie!" I said feeling angry and sad simultaneously. "I know you well enough to see it, to hear it. Something is going on that bothers you! And it's just not the whole China trip or the club keeping you busy. So don't lie to me, tell me you can't talk about it if you have to but don't lie to me." I sat down in a chair feeling emotionally spent already.
"Ginny..." he said trailing off. He walked across the room, looking away from me.
"Erik" I said getting up and following him. "Please talk to me - what happened?" I asked placing a hand on his shoulder.
He shook his head but, without looking at me, started talking. "My mom is marrying that guy she was seeing."
"And? Is he a bad guy for her?" I asked confused.
"No he seems fine." he said still looking away from me. "She wants me to move back. She already had me registered in school even. I don't think she expected any resistance from me. I managed to push it off until the summer but she was pretty firm that after the summer, she expects me back in Virginia."
"Oh." I said shell shocked. "Move back...."
"My dad stopped paying child support when I moved here and is now threatening to take HER to court to change the ruling so SHE would have to pay him. They hate each other, they've been using me to get back at each other for years and my dad seems to think.....oh it's not important." He finally turned and looked at me. "Is that better? Unless I can convince my mom or the courts - I'll be moving back this summer." he said sadly.
"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" I asked leaning closer to him.
"And make you sad too? I was hoping to figure out a way to fix it first. Then you wouldn't have to go through this as well." he said
"Nice theory" I said feeling an ache inside already.
"Bad execution?" he asked with a sad little laugh. I smirked but nodded.
"We just have to convince your mom to let you stay." I said. "Right?"
"And convince my dad not to go to the courts - he's not the sort of person courts give custody too." he said.
"Oh Erik!" I exclaimed going into his arms and hugging him tightly. "This sucks." I said bluntly.
"Yeah, yeah it does." he said holding me tightly. We were interrupted by a small group of students coming in to watch a movie. "Come on, let's go back to the cafeteria." he said taking my hand. It felt like a month had passed in the time since we'd left the cafeteria. When we walked in to the cafeteria I tried to avoid looking for Veronica but my eyes immediately sought her out. I was shocked to see what looked like a civil conversation between her and Timothy - maybe even an apology....
"Maybe she's not so bad after all." Erik whispered to me.
"I know she's not." I said quietly. "I know..."
End Chapter
Chapter 15: Spirit Week
School went back with a mix of excitement to see friends and the general "eh" feeling that accompanies going back to school. Classes got harder - everything got harder actually. At the first martial arts practice after school went back, Mei-Ling tested everyone for new belts and everyone advanced. Veronica with her "natural aptitude" did well enough to practically skip the yellow belt. Then Mei-Ling made the announcement.
"This summer, there is a student level world martial arts competition in China. My own instructor told me about it while I was on holiday after I mentioned our organization. It will have ranks for all level of students..." she paused dramatically. "And I'd like us to enter as a team."
We look at her in surprise. Most of us had only started this a few months ago and she wanted to take us to a world competition? "Every team can sponsor six people, myself included. If you are interested and dedicated to this, I need to know. There is not a lot of time to enter and go through the paperwork." she looked at all of us, there were still a few other students who floated in and out of practices. "Let us begin practices. Gin, Timothy - you two will start." she said.
Timothy and I were fairly well matched as novices, in the end I dealt the final blow. I was just a smidge faster than him. Next up were Todd and Veronica. Although they were at the same color belt, Todd did have a little bit more experience on his side. Veronica was newly an orange belt and Todd was well on his way to green. In the end, Todd won.
Given the upcoming competition, Mei-Ling and Erik both wanted to keep their own skills in practice. Mei-Ling didn't "pull any punches" with Erik and soundly defeated him but he was grinning after the spar and talking quickly with Mei-Ling about it.
After the initial spars in which Erik and Mei-Ling watched all our moves and blocks, we all sparred together. This was how most practices went. It was important for us to spar against a real person as opposed to just the training dummies and to keep us from predicting each others' moves, we switched partners often.
Even though I'd mostly joined as a gesture of friendship, I had every intention of stick with the club so I expressed my interest in the China trip along with Todd, Timothy and Veronica - Erik and Mei-Ling were obviously going as Erik had pretty much become a "co-captain" or whatever you wanted to call it. I saw a few other unfamiliar names on the list of "interested people".
-----
A few weeks after Winter break the school hosted "Spirit Week". Student spirits were always a little low in January so Spirit Week was supposed to be more than just school spirit but also personal spirit. Regardless of the intention, every day was a special "dress up" day. Of course at least half the students didn't participate but that didn't ruin the fun for me.
First up was 80s day. Seeing as 80s clothes seemed to be coming slowly back into fashion, it wasn't hard for us to assemble outfits. Veronica protested the whole idea until I reminded her that she was a cheerleader - even if she was back to alternate status.
Todd approached me after school looking cool in his aviator glasses. "Have you seen Mei-Ling?" he asked me looking around as he talked.
"She's with Erik and Ms. Moore. They're having a meeting about the competition. Funding or something." I said with a shrug.
"Oh." Todd said looking dejected. He looked over at Timothy and Veronica who were fighting again. "What are they fighting about now?" he asked.
I rolled my eyes. "Same old I'd imagine. Veronica likes the making out but doesn't want an official 'relationship'. Timothy thinks she is afraid of what people will say and so on and so forth."
"Those two have been running hot and cold for weeks now....how do they do that?" Todd said looking back to see them kissing again.
I just shrugged. "I have no idea." I said with a laugh. I took another look at the couple and chuckled. "Come on, we can get in a spar or two before they come up for air or Erik and Mei-Ling get done with Ms. Moore." I said leading the way to the gym.
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Pajama Day was met with some interesting results. The school insisted on certain dress code rules when it came to pajamas but it was certainly the most comfortable day at school. Several people brought pillows to school that day and pretended to sleep. Ms. Moore sent at least three people every period to detention I heard. I caught up with Erik in the cafeteria. It was the first time I'd seen him all day as he'd been in a meeting with Principal Watts during first period history.
He eyed my pajamas and looked at me curiously. "You know it's January right?" he asked.
I looked down at my Halloween pajamas and grinned. "I do know that." I said. "But Halloween is my favorite holiday so I have Halloween pajamas. Got a problem with that?" I asked with a laugh.
"No, no problem at all." he said smiling.
"I think that is one of the first real smiles I've gotten from you in weeks." I said.
"Really? I didn't realize..." Erik said, the smile disappearing.
"Never mind." I said with a sigh. "You've been busy and distracted. Lots to do to plan a trip to China."
"Right." Erik said. "Come on, let's get some lunch." he said taking my hand.
Pajama Day ended with Pajama races through the halls since most people were wearing socks and slippers only.
-----
The best day, in my opinion, was Character Day. We were supposed to pick a character from a movie or literature and dress up as them. Did I mention my favorite holiday is Halloween? Because I love dressing up and being someone else - that's why I'm also in Theater.
Instead of practice, Mei-Ling called us all together for a meeting that afternoon.
"You all expressed and interest in the China trip and have shown dedication to this organization so you will be the ones going." Ms. Moore said addressed up. "Mei-Ling will address the specifics of the tournament with you all today, I am here to talk about the trip itself. Due to it's location, you will all need passports. If you don't already have one please look into it. You will need your parents to sign several forms, not just for the passport but permission slips and such. It's going to be a lot of paperwork which is why we've selected you all now instead of waiting. I'd like you all to come see me today or tomorrow so I can go over everything individually with you. Good luck." she said before retreating to the back corner where she graded papers through most of our practices.
Then Mei-Ling came forward to give us details about the tournament.
-----
The last day was School Colors day and culminated in a sort of field day. Classes after lunch were canceled in favor of a quick pep rally and then competitions, relays, races, etc between the students. The school kept all the results and awarded ribbons too the winners.
"They're fighting again." Todd pointed out as we finished the relay race. I was tying a bright red vest on for flag football and looked over at them. They were louder than normal and their words carried over to where Todd and I were standing.
"I'm done Veronica, either you want to be with ME or not. I'm not just hanging around for your amusement." Timothy was obviously upset to me - someone who'd known him for years - but he looked so cool. He didn't flinch as Veronica spat back. "Well maybe I DON'T want to be with you!"
"Fine." he said simply and turned to walk away and retrieve his own colored vest. Veronica looked dumbstruck; although whether she was surprised at his reaction or at her own words I couldn't be sure.
Todd looked at me for some sort of reaction but I had nothing. I handed him his vest and walked onto the field. Across from us: Erik, Mei-Ling and Veronica were on the blue team.
End Chapter
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Group Shots
Tuesday 80s Day:
Wednesday Pajama Day:
Thursday Character Day (Todd as Indiana Jones, Timothy as a Pirate, Mei-Ling as Rizzo from Grease, Erik as The Godfather, Ginny as Nurse Chapel, Veronica as Queen Guenevere)
Friday School Colors Day:
Chapter 19: Loss and Recovery
When I returned from the funeral, the first person I saw was my sweet Alexander. I rushed to his cradle and scooped him up. Breathing in his innocent baby scent, I cradled him snugly to my chest.
The house was silent, eerily so. I closed my eyes and took several deep breaths as I laid Alexander back in his cradle. "I love you." I whispered to him. There was nothing wrong with him and yet I was afraid to let him out of my sight. My heart ached as I brushed my fingers against his baby soft skin.
Taking another moment to steady myself, I looked toward the stairs and blinked back a new wave of tears. From some where above I heard weak coughing. As I got to the bottom of the stairs I could hear Wesley humming a gentle lullaby. The coughing subsided and only the melody could be heard.
I put a foot on the first step and closed my eyes. I wanted to go up, I wanted to be with them but I was scared, terrified even. Still, I had to go up. With my eyes closed and my heart pounding, I climbed the stairs slowly. One of the steps creaked as I put my weight on it and the humming stopped. My eyes were still closed when I reached the top step and then I opened them and walked through the open door. I saw Wesley laying with Rachel, he was stroking her hair and her eyes opened when she heard me come in. She gave me a weak smile and then buried her head back into her daddy's shoulder.
One second, two ... maybe it was an eternity. It felt like and eternity as I turned my head to look at Sarah's bed. There wasn't a sound coming from that side of the room and I tried to prepare myself. She'd been so strong but I'd seen so many little caskets - too many - while at the cemetery that morning. I didn't realize I'd been holding my breath until I saw her pale, but serene face poking out from the covers of her bed.
She was quiet - sleeping more soundly than she had in days. But she was there. I stumbled back as I released the breath. I felt light headed as I stared at her. "Lizzie?" I heard Wesley's whisper. He sounded miles away from me even though it was just a few feet. I heard the springs of Rachel's bed creak and she let out a soft groan as he moved. "Lizzie?" he asked, now standing beside me. "She's fine Lizzie, she fell asleep after the doc came by. She's okay."
I looked at him and blinked away tears. "We almost lost her Wes. She was gone..." I said softly, burying my head against his shoulder to muffle my sobs. His arms wrapped around me immediately. "I know, I know..." he murmured.
I don't know how long I stayed there in his arms but from downstairs I heard Hannah fussing in her crib. Wesley pulled back. "I'll take care of her." he said kissing my forehead. I looked from Rachel to Sarah and dried my eyes. Between the sickness and John's funeral, I felt emotionally and physically exhausted. I sank onto the end of Sarah's bed and leaned back against the wall. Even though I felt like I'd shed every tear in my body, I found myself crying softly again as I watched Sarah's sleeping form.
"Why are you crying Mama?" Sarah asked opening her eyes slowly and kicking off the blankets.
I didn't say anything, merely took her into my arms and cradled her close to me. I kissed the top of her head several times and squeezed her tightly, reminding myself over and over again that she was real and alive.
The girls remained house bound for several days but they were recovering. Doctor Rheyer assured me that they had come through the worst of it and felt confident that as long as we were careful, the younger two should be fine as well. Unfortunately, most weren't so lucky. Many of the families who had stayed through the drought buried someone, many of them children. When the worst of it appeared to have passed, almost everyone was wearing black for someone and a dreadful sorrow fell over the town.
Catherine visited John's grave as often as she could. She still hadn't cried that I'd seen; I suspected she was trying to be brave. Alan helped with his sisters as much as he could. I saw her standing in the cemetery alone one Sunday morning and walked over to stand with her.
"Catherine." I said quietly, slipping my hand into hers.
She shook her head without looking at me. "I don't know what to do." she said quietly.
"I'm so sorry." I said squeezing her hand.
"Tell me what to do Lizzie." she said looking at me. A few lone tears made tracks down her face.
"I don't know what you should do sweetie." I said sadly.
"I can't stay here, I....I just can't. But I don't want to take the children from their family, you and the Garretts. I can't do that to them." she said looking back at John's stone. "What do I do?" she asked, now crying harder.
I had no answers for her, I had no words to comfort her. I pulled her into a hug and held her.
As we stood there I felt water droplets hit my face and head. I looked up and felt more water hitting my face. It was raining....
Catherine looked up as well and when a drop hit her on the nose we both smiled just a little bit. The rain started to fall harder and we hurried to the church where everyone else was gathering on the steps and small porch.
The rain continued to fall for days, the girls continued to improve and even though they had to read the same books over and over when they wanted to go outside and play in the rain, they didn't complain. Sarah started making up new ending to the stories to make Rachel laugh.
With the influx of rain and the girls' on the mend, Wesley went back to the fields. What small crop we'd had left before the sickness had wilted away for the most part but he was willing to start fresh as spring was on it's way.
A few of the people had left town started trickling back but most of them stayed gone. I was in town posting a letter to Wesley's father when I heard gossip about some of the outlying farms.
"The Porter's lost two cows to a rustler" a man said behind me. Later Doctor Rheyer confirmed what I'd heard.
"There've been several families losing livestock or having their food stores broke into lately." he said.
Virgil Flynn overheard our conversation and came over. "My hen house was busted open last night, there were feathers scattered from the door to the edge of the wood!" he said "A half dozen chickens missin'!" he added.
"Did you hear or see anything?" I asked concerned. He shook his head sadly and went on his way.
At the telegraph office I ran into Mr. Garrett and he'd heard everything I'd heard. "Any problems at the boarding house?" I asked. He had moved into the boarding house when he'd married Widow Culpepper.
"Not a single thang." he said. "How is Catherine doing?" he asked sadly. Catherine had stayed in town so far but didn't visit town often, she holed herself into the house for the most part.
"She's....I don't know. It's not good for her but she's stubborn." I said sadly. He nodded.
One night not long after the girls had recovered, lightening lit the sky though no rain was falling. The girls were outside playing, enjoying their new freedom, when I heard them both screaming. I dropped the dish I was washing (which shattered in the sink) and ran out to see what was going on. Wesley was late in the fields but heard the screaming as well and I could hear him running towards us.
Lightening had set the barn on fire and Sarah and Rachel were too close. I ran to them, despite the fire, and snatched them away. After assuring myself they were fine, I sent them inside. Wesley and I were battling the fire with water and blankets when I saw a dirty, disheveled woman stumbled out from the side. Beside her was a thin little boy.
"Help me..." she said holding her head. Her clothes were crusted with dirty. "Help me...." she said again and then she stumbled forward a few steps and fell to the ground in a heap beside her boy. The boy looked dispassionate, his eyes.
I ran over to them, Wesley still battling the fire. Out of the corner of his eye he saw me and hollered for me to stop. "Lizzie!" I ignored him and hurried to the woman.
End Chapter
Chapter 18: Dying Days
The girls slept restlessly, they both had high fevers and complained of feeling achy. Downstairs I could hear the baby crying so I tiptoed out the door.
"Mama..." called a weak voice.
I turned and walked back to Sarah's bedside. "What is it dearest?" I whispered, not wanting to wake up Rachel.
"I love you." Sarah whispered. I fought back the urge to cry right then and wrapped my arms around her. "I love you too." I whispered into her hair. Alexander's cries got stronger and I knew Wesley would be coming up to get me so I laid Sarah back down. "Sleep Sarah, your papa will be up soon to sit with you." I said kissing her head. The heat from her head felt searing on my lips.
I passed Wesley in the hall outside the room just as an eruption of coughs echoed out. I looked back and saw Rachel sitting up in bed. Downstairs I heard Alexander getting louder. Wesley nodded toward the stairs as he went in to sit with the girls.
With a lingering look into their room I went downstairs to tend to Alexander. Under advice from the doctor, I washed my hands and face before picking him up. He immediately calmed as I cradled him and fed him. Upstairs the coughing got louder as now both girls were awake and coughing. I focused on Alexander, reminding myself that I had to tend to all my babes.
It didn't take me long to settled Alexander and get him back to sleep. Once he was asleep, I checked on Hannah and then went upstairs. Wesley brushed my hand as he went downstairs and I tended to the girls. Their coughing had calmed for the moment so I helped them drink and tucked them back into bed. Sarah kicked off her blankets immediately. They drifted off into another fitful sleep and I sunk to the floor between the beds. Looking heavenward, I closed my eyes.
"Mama...what are you praying for?" Sarah's weak raspy voice asked.
"You should be sleeping." I whispered with a very faint smile.
"I'm not tired." she said while rubbing her eyes. She got out of bed and crawled into my lap and I hugged her close.
"Sing to me mama." she said looking into my eyes. "Please?"
"Hush now." I said holding her. I sang softly to her until long after her eyes had drifted closed. I heard Wesley's footsteps behind me and noted the grave look on his face. Carefully I stood and tucked Sarah back into bed before turning to him.
"Alan's here, it's John...." he said softly. I took a long breath and nodded. He sat in the chair and I went back downstairs.
"Oh Alan! What is it?" I asked walking to his side.
"It's Pa, Aunt Lizzie. He's getting worse!" Alan said through tears.
I held him close to me. "Will you come Aunt Lizzie, I think Ma needs you. She didn't ask but..." he trailed off.
I looked up toward the ceiling to the second story where my own sick family was fitfully sleeping then nodded to Alan. "Wait here." I said trudging upstairs. Wesley appeared distant and sad when I saw him. Both girls were sleeping quietly.
"Go" he said softly after I explained. "I'll stay with them, we'll be okay here." he added. I looked at the girls and had to will myself to leave. I had to believe they'd be okay but I was terrified to leave them, even for a moment. "Go." Wesley said again with a sad smile. I nodded again and left.
When Alan and I arrived at their house, Catherine was staring blankly at the bed where Doctor Rheyer was bent over John. The triplet girls all sat mutely at the small kitchen table. I moved to Catherine's side and put my arm around her. "How is he?" I asked quietly.
Catherine just shook her head and then burst into the tears. I cradled her head against my shoulder and looked toward the doctor. He didn't shake his head but he didn't seem overly hopeful. "He may yet recover." he said with little confidence, "But...." he trailed off looking again at his patients pale face. Catherine broke into a new round of sobs. "How are the girls?" he asked me.
"Their fevers continue and their coughs have gotten worse but their fighting." I said trying to feel confident.
"And the other babes, any symptoms?" he asked as he packed up his bag. I shook my head. "Mrs. Garrett" he said addressing Catherine. "I'm leaving some more medicine. Please try to give it to him, same dosage." he said placing a small bottle on the table. I sat with Catherine for some time before she drifted off to sleep. I laid her back on the chair and covered her up with a blanket. "Come tell me if anything changes Alan." I said to my nephew, giving him another hug.
When I got home, both my girls were resting; Rachel better than Sarah. I relieved Wesley and sat down.
"Mama...." Sarah said, sounding weaker once again.
My eyes popped open, I hadn't realized I'd dosed off. She was standing up, clutching her head. I jumped to my feet to help her sit back down.
"Mama...." she said again blinking several times.
"Sarah?" I asked stepping close to her. Then she fell, it seemed so sudden...and yet I remember every small moment of the fall. No matter how fast I moved, I couldn't get to her side before her weakened body slumped to the floor. Her eyes seemed to stare blankly above her. "Sarah!" I screamed dropping to her side.
I heard Wesley thundering up the stairs as I pulled her limp body into my lap and searched for breath. "Sarah baby! Sarah!" I said through aching sobs. I looked up as Wesley came to a halt in the door frame and looked at him panicked. A new round of sobs rocked me as I looked from him to Sarah.
I felt her tiny body shudder. She took several ragged breaths. She was fighting so hard. "Sarah! Sarah! Come on dearest!" I said clutching her tightly. I looked at Wesley fearfully as her small body got still once more. At that moment I heard more footsteps thundering up the stairs and saw Alan, out of breath and with tears streaming down his flushed red cheeks.
Everything seemed blurry and out of control then. Darkness crept up around me, making my breathing as ragged as my tiny daughter's.
The funeral was small, Wesley was at home with the children - ours and Catherine's. We couldn't risk exposing them or anyone else so in the end it was just Catherine, the Reverend and I. Catherine was numb, I could see it in her eyes. And yet she took my hand firmly as we watched the dirt cover the casket.
End Chapter